Negligent Use of a Dangerous Mind

stirring up trouble until the very end

2008-05-14T22:57:00.003-05:00

So, in just about every open-book exam I've taken in law school, I've taken along my iPod...mostly because no professor has ever explicitly said, "You can't use that." So I happily bring along my iPod so that I can rock out to Appetite for Destruction during the exam. (Seriously.)

So I go to take my Contracts II final, and I'm starting up the iPod while the proctor is reading the instructions. All of a sudden, I hear, "iPods are not allowed." So I look up and start packing up the iPod, and the proctor is giving me the death stare, as if I had just kicked a puppy or something. She looks at me and tells me that iPods are not 'secure', and therefore they can't be used. I, being a 3L who is hours from being done with that hole forever, reply that, since the exam is open-book anyway, it's not like the iPod is giving me information that I couldn't have typed up and brought in anyway. Proctor just rolls her eyes and tells me that those are the rules, and too bad.

At that point, the professor comes up to the professor and tells her that it's okay if I use my iPod, since it involves headphones and all. The proctor tells her that iPods are not secure, and therefore not allowed, and the professor says that she doesn't care if we use them. (So, I completely take back that part about hating her for her passive-aggressive stance on nametags...)

I start unwinding the earphones when some douchenozzle in the row behind me loudly declares that sometimes the music doesn't stay in the headphones, and it's too distracting to other people if I listen to my headphones. At that point, I mouth the word "douchebag" to my friend across the room, who is chuckling at this whole exchange. The professor simply tells Douchenozzle that she would deal with the noise problem if anyone played their music too loud.

After that, I put my headphones in, turned the music on, and started rocking out as I read through the problem.

(And oddly enough, that was the first essay exam I had finished early in over a year. And I'm fairly certain that I didn't fail, so...looks like I'll be graduating on Friday after all.)

and the award for "best use of a pass/fail" goes to...

2008-05-05T16:31:00.004-05:00

I just referenced both the Village People and strippers in an exam.

I'm fairly certain that this is an unparalleled level of awesomeness.......I suppose it's good to leave law school on a high note.

apocalypse (s)now

2008-04-28T17:02:00.003-05:00

It is snowing in Madison today.

For those of you who didn't do a double-take and then check the calendar on your computers, today is April 28th. Otherwise known as three-days-before-the-start-of-May. So not only is it spring, it's venturing into "late spring" territory.

And yet, there were snowflakes falling from the sky this afternoon.

I'm pretty sure that this is a sign that the world is ending...especially when combined with the fact that the Cubs are in first place right now and Ronny Cedeno is actually playing well. I mean, who needs locusts, plagues, or an invasion of Daleks when you can have ginormous snowflakes?

I'm also pretty sure that I'm glad that, three weeks from right now, I'll be sitting in the U-Haul on the way to Wichita, the stopping point in my journey between Madison and Austin. Even though I spent much of last night having a complete breakdown about the fact that I will probably never be able to procure legal employment after graduation because of my inability to perform on law school exams, at least I won't be some place where it snows in April.

we're not lovers, we're lawyers

2008-04-23T18:30:00.003-05:00

Today, some group in the law school planned to have a sex toy party at the school. Since just about every event that has been planned at the Law School this year has been cancelled or forced to move, they sought the administration's permission to host the free event in the law school building. The administration, seeing no problem with it, agreed to this.

So advertisements go up throughout the school. The pizza gets ordered. Students make plans to show up.

And then? Dean Dickey, one of our wonderful administrators, puts the kibosh on the whole event. My spies tell me that the explanation given had something to do with "not liking the advertisements" for the event. (I mean, it's a sex toy party...how could you not expect advertisements featuring pictures of handcuffs and ridiculous puns???) So, reading between the lines, someone got offended by the ads, and nobody felt the need to tell the group organizing the event until immediately before the event started and they had already wasted money on pizza. (My guess is that Dickey has a serious love for that garlic butter sauce crap that comes with Papa John's pizza, and that's why he waited so long...)

This afternoon, the guy who sits behind me in First Amendment (who I'm pretty sure swills sherry and screws goats for fun*) remarked that he was proud of Dean Dickey for taking a stand, and wanted to e-mail him and tell him as much. Now, I wasn't going to go to this event, and I think it's better suited for some off-campus location...but I'm not going to stop someone else from going just because the picture of a ball-gag and whip makes me a little uncomfortable, you know?

I guess the lesson to take away from all of this is this: if you don't like someone else's viewpoint, you don't need to respect the fact that we're all entitled to our opinions. Just complain to someone with power and get them to shut up.

*I don't know if he actually screws goats for fun. I also don't know if his sense of morality allows him to swill any sort of alcohol. I do know that this guy kind of oozes douche from every pore. You know the type. You're picturing him right now.

the lunch nazi

2008-04-22T22:33:00.003-05:00

So one of my friends and I were sitting in the atrium at school from about 11-1 earlier today. She remarked that, she brought lunch, but wasn't hungry. So she decided to heat up her lunch at about 1:15 and take it to class with her.

As a much more considerate person that I could ever be, she asked her fellow students if eating her hot tasty lunch in class would be a problem. Since she's not the person whose food smells like burnt hair whenever it's put in the microwave, they all agreed.

The professor comes in, though, and tells her that she is not allowed to eat in class. The reason?

It's against law school rules to eat in class.

Now, you would think that, after two years, one semester, and 13 weeks of law school, we would know if eating in class was against law school rules. After my friend told me this, I went so far as to peruse the law school rules posted on the law school's website. And wouldn't you know, there's absolutely NOTHING about the consumption of food in class being verboten.

I understand that it's the professor's prerogative whether to govern what is or is not allowed in his classroom. I just have a really big problem with the professor not having the cajones to tell students not to do something in his class, and instead resorting to flat-out lying by saying that the law school rules prohibit something that they clearly do not address (or, if they do, then it's not posted in a place where students can easily access them).

In any event, classes are over next week...and then we can eat wherever we darn well please.

dangerous mind's day off

2008-04-16T17:47:00.002-05:00

To celebrate one of the first nice days of spring (and the fact that Family Law class was cancelled), I skipped town (and Contracts II) yesterday and drove down to Chicago. So I strolled through the Art Institute for a few hours, enjoyed a walk down the Magnificent Mile, and capped off my day with a night game at Wrigley:

The Cubs won in magnificent fashion (thanks to the wind blowing out to left...and no thanks to Alfonso Soriano hurting himself while performing his "trademark hop" while catching a fly ball....). So magnificent that the fact that I had to beg several people for a jump in the parking lot after the game because Flying Elvis's battery was dead doesn't put a damper on the evening.

I have to say, I think the thing I'll miss the most about living in Madison is being close enough to be able to take an afternoon and drive to Chicago for a Cubs game or an outing at a museum. You could say that this is a sign that I should be living in Chicago, not Austin...but I think we all know that I can't afford to live in Chicago without a job and while trying to pay back $170,000 in loans.

naked pictures of supreme court justices

2008-04-14T17:33:00.006-05:00

I was leaving First Amendment today, blissfully confused by everything that had been said during the previous hour and a half, when I overheard the following in the stairwell:

"You know Supreme Court Justice Blackmun? Yeah, I had a dream that I was totally hanging out with him..."

I'm fairly certain that this is one of the reasons why people hate lawyers. I mean, whatever happened to having normal dreams involving David Boreanaz* and vampire fangs?

Okay, maybe those dreams aren't exactly normal either, but...when your dreams start involving members of the United States Supreme Court....that's a whole new level of gunner-dom, I think. Or maybe just a sign that you need to get out more.

*You're all watching the new episode of "Bones" tonight (Fox, 8/7 central), right? Good.

if only i knew how to take an exam

2008-04-10T11:38:00.005-05:00

Yeah, so all that flipping out about Contracts the other day was for nothing. I got my response e-mail from the professor, who said that it was clear that I understand what's going on in class.

That is the first time the word "understand" has been used to refer to me and my performance in a law school class in almost three years. So...I guess better late than never, right?

So between that and the return of Office Thursday tonight (!!!!!!), it's been a pretty good week...

more fun with contracts

2008-04-08T11:39:00.002-05:00

I'm on call in Contracts today, and actually nervous about it.

Not because I just started doing the reading for this semester 10 days ago.... Well, maybe that's part of it. But I've done all but three weeks' worth of reading at this point, and I think I have a decent grasp on what's going on.

I think my problem may be that my professor actually grades the on-call days - and not in a "I use class participation as my justification to move you up/down the curve as necessary" sort of way. No, she actually e-mails each student a critique and a grade for their on-call performance. That, I think, is what has me wigging just a little bit, since I know that speaking isn't exactly my strong suit.

In other news, I passed my MPRE. I am officially just ethical enough to be a lawyer.

what if barbie had a hand grenade?

2008-03-25T13:41:00.004-05:00

Some days, I wonder why I even bother going to Contracts II.

One of the 1L sheep just asked a question about a case that began, "What if America had a caste system?" Then, he wanted to know how the contract in question would function under such a system.

This is the sort of question that gets asked after class, during office hours, or e-mailed. Asking how this contract would function in feudal England is really kind of....irrelevant. Pointless. And it angers the one 3L in the corner who is only taking this class because (a) she needed 14 credits to graduate, and (b) needs to learn Contracts for a bar exam, and can only rely on learning so much from BarBri. I mean, who cares how this contract would work under a caste system??? I want to know why this contract didn't work in this particular situation...can we talk about that?

Of course, my main problem would probably be expecting to learn anything useful in a law school class.

passive-agressive professors, and the students that love them

2008-03-25T13:29:00.003-05:00

At the beginning of the semester, my Contracts II professor (I know, I know...) told the class that there would be no seating chart, and she wanted the students to make nametags for their seats. As in, the students were responsible for finding their own piece of paper and their own marker to make a sign legible enough for her to read from twenty feet away.

I have refused for eight weeks now to make a sign, mostly because if nametag-making is going to be "required" for a class, then it should be the responsibility of the requiror (the professor) to provide paper on the University's dime. I mean, we're all starving students, and the only thing that I can tell my $30K/year tuition has gone for is making a giant pile of gold coinage in the basement of the library for the Dean to swim around in, Scrooge McDuck-style. I think a few sheets of paper can be spared.

Lately, my professor has been making snarky comments at the beginning of class about the lack of nametags. Crap like, "I see this side of the room is going incognito today..."

Today, it was "I see you all think that I spent all of Spring Break memorizing your pictures."

And, predictably, the flock of 1L sheep in the class chuckle at this. Meanwhile, I sit back and refuse to create my own nametag until nametag-making supplies are provided for me. I mean, if it's enough of a problem for the professor to keep making comments about it class after class after class, that she'd just bite the bullet and bring in 50 sheets of paper and a Sharpie from the Copy Shop downstairs.

that'll do, weather

2008-03-21T12:02:00.003-05:00

Apparently, Madison is in the middle of a massive snowstorm right now that will leave roughly a foot of freshly-fallen snow on the city by tomorrow.

Yes, it is March 21. I know; I double-checked.

Fortunately, I'm in Mesa, it's 77 degrees out at 10am, and I won't have to deal with snow when I go to the Brewers spring training game this afternoon. Right now, my "get out of Madison" spring break plans make me feel like a genius.

But if the snow/ice isn't off my car by the time I get home, and I have to dig my car out from underneath a sheet of icy residue yet again, I am going to be one very, very unhappy panda. (Some might even go so far as to call me a "sad panda".) And I will be an unhappy panda right up until the part where I move to Austin two months from, well, today, and never have to deal with snow again.

spring break approacheth

2008-03-10T14:20:00.004-05:00

I have a paper due at the end of March (i.e., the Friday after I return from spring break).

Said paper is for my Islamic Law class.

If I take my giant Islamic Law binder with me to Arizona (most likely in the checked luggage), what are the odds that I get questioned by the TSA after they search my luggage?

(Of course, I could just avoid all of this altogether by not taking the homework with me in the first place...)

the greatest compliment ever

2008-03-06T19:49:00.004-06:00

My sister just called me - from Arizona - because she locked herself out of the Athletic Training office at the high school where she works.

Her reason?

"The first person I think of when I need to know how to break into things...is you."

......this is why it's a good thing that relatives can't act as character references for the character and fitness portion of the bar application.

have you accepted brett favre as your personal lord and savior?

2008-03-05T17:46:00.003-06:00

I'm almost surprised that the Wisconsin state flag was not flying at half-staff today to mourn the end of the career of Football Jesus. I have even heard reports of several Favre jerseys being sighted around the law school today, although I only managed to see one.

It's still amazing to me, coming from a state where there isn't a local team (and the "favorite team" ranges from the Falcons to the Redskins to the Ravens to the Cowboys), to some place like Wisconsin, where the whole state seems unified in their love and devotion to the Green Bay Packers.

In all seriousness, Favre was a great player, and it's nice to see him go out after such a good season with the Packers.

(Aside from that last pass, of course.)

flavor of disease

2008-03-03T23:32:00.003-06:00

So I was watching Flavor of Love 3 earlier today...

A couple of the girls went to Flav because they were concerned about this spot on this one cast member's (Hotlanta, I believe) mouth. So Hotlanta goes to Flav to explain that she does not have herpes. Flav, because he's so grossed out by the idea of any of his hos having the herps, decides to call in his doctor friend to do a test on the spot.

After the testing is performed, the doctor sends the results directly to Flav, who reads them aloud at that night's clock (elimination) ceremony. Poor Hotlanta only had a pimple, everyone got freaked out over nothing, and she got her clock and was allowed to stay in the house another week because she didn't have the herps.*

Of course, the first thing that came to my mind was, "I'm pretty sure that giving the results directly to Flav violates HIPAA in some way."

That should not be the first thought I have to anything that goes on on FoL3. I should be wondering why Flav is so grossed out by the herps when it's probable that there's airborne gonorrhea in that house. Or I should be wondering how Flav himself doesn't happen to have a case of herpes. No, instead I'm sitting here wondering if these skanks signed some sort of release form allowing Flav to have access to all of their medical records (or allowing any test results to be read on-air), or signed some sort of affidavit saying that they don't have any STDs.

It's times like these I really hate what law school has done to my brain. At this point, the only show that doesn't make me think of something school related is Maury Povich - even though those paternity test and fat baby episodes come awfully close to the family law line. But I can't help watching Maury, because those episodes where he plays chick-or-dude are the best.

*I was actually rooting for Hotlanta to tell Flav that no, she did not know what time it was, and would not accept her clock, simply because he didn't trust her when she said she didn't have herpes. Then again, doing that would mean that her fifteen minutes of "fame" were over.

do you accept this declaration of shenanigans?

2008-02-25T18:08:00.003-06:00

Two posts in one day - can you believe it?

So this morning, I opened up iTunes to purchase that song from "Once" that won the Best Original Song Oscar last night. I get to the soundtrack's page and discover that the song I'm looking for (and, incidentally, every song on the album) is only available if you purchase the entire album.

And then I realized that this is a rather bizarre trend on iTunes - I've gone in to buy songs before and then discovered that they're the only track on an album that isn't available for 99-cent individual download, but are only available if you buy the whole album.

I'm pretty much convinced that the rationale behind this is to force people to buy entire albums instead of just the one song that they really like. But does this happen everywhere you go to purchase digital music, or is iTunes just a communist plot to take over the world through forcing people to buy a ton of albums for $9.99 each just so that they can hear that one song they liked in the first place, only to discover that the rest of the album blows. Or does this only happen in certain genres of music - like, I could buy whatever crap Rihanna puts out for 99 cents a song, but if I want something a little more obscure, I may have to buy the whole album.

Whatever. I'll just go buy the CD at Target. Yeah, it's probably more expensive that way, but if I'm going to be buying the whole CD, then I at least want the original liner notes.

Therefore, I'm calling shenanigans on iTunes (or, if you prefer, I'm putting iTunes on notice). Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be over here hiding from Apple's henchmen.

i learn something new every day

2008-02-25T17:59:00.003-06:00

Now this is how I should have been approaching my last semester in law school...

Me (upon seeing a friend of mine leaving the building before First Amendment): What is this, three in a row?
Him: Hey, I went last Wednesday. Once a week is enough.

Me: Probably.

Him: I don't recall any attendance policy in that class.

Me: This is true. Plus, there's that whole "Pass/Fail" option thing.

Him: Exactly. And [Dangerous Mind] takes really good notes.

Me: Yeah......hey, wait!

I think a few skip days during which I do nothing but sit on my couch and play Super Mario Galaxy for Nintendo Wii are in order.

reading over shoulders is a valuable skill

2008-02-24T13:40:00.001-06:00

My Contracts II class is about 85% 1Ls. It's even more torturous than it sounds.

Last week, our professor went on a rant about how most contracts are poorly drafted and that law schools do little to remedy that problem. So I look up from my game of Tetris 2 for a few minutes and see that the kid in front of me has written the following in his notes:

"Law school does not spend lot of time talking and teaching how to draft contracts, and therefore many lawyers are not good at drafting contracts."*

......At that point, I really just wanted to pat that kid on the head and tell him that it's all going to be okay one day...and that if that sentiment is on the exam, I'll be sure to look outside to see if four dudes are riding up Bascom Hill on horseback.

Instead, I went back to my game of Tetris 2. Because, well...my record during that hour and twenty minute class is Level 32 - I have to beat that before the semester's over.

*Any errors in grammar are that kid's, not mine.

primary day

2008-02-19T17:07:00.005-06:00

How in the world does the city lose someone's voter registration information?

Okay, okay. So it wasn't "lost". The explanation that I received was that sometimes, the city just decides to reject voter registration information - even if you use that registration information to vote on a previous occasion.

Still. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

i've had it up to here with winter

2008-02-14T12:08:00.003-06:00

Is it just me, or doesn't "clear your sidewalks" mean that there shouldn't be a three inch thick icy, slushy mess covering your sidewalks?

Unfortunately, around my neighborhood (and the University), it seems that "clear your sidewalks" just means to brush off the sidewalk in an eighteen-inch-wide path that a wheelchair could get down (if the person in the wheelchair didn't mind the bumpy ride provided by the layers of ice and packed snow that no one wants to bother clearing).

It's really annoying that, on top of having to keep digging my car out from underneath the 80 inches of snow that have fallen since December, I end up risking breaking a bone every time I leave my apartment because people refuse to clear their sidewalks already.

On the bright side, moving to Texas in three months means that I'll never have to put up with this nonsense ever again.

chickens are made to be fried

2008-02-13T21:53:00.003-06:00

Maybe I'm just a prude, but there's something mildly disconcerting about listening to my somewhat-elderly First Amendment professor discuss the obscenity-related cases. Especially when he comes out with stuff like this:

"It's normal sexual behavior if someone uses a feather......it's kinky if someone uses the whole chicken."

super letdown

2008-02-03T21:17:00.000-06:00

I've decided that the best part of the Super Bowl was seeing T.J. Thyne in a cars.com commercial. Anything involving Hodgins from "Bones" makes me a happy camper...

As for the rest of the game? Since I'm fairly certain that this is neither (a) a nightmare, or (b) a parallel world that I can't escape without some sort of pocket Simon-looking device provided by The Doctor, I'll be actively trying to repress this memory.

At least Cubs season starts soon...

the beginning of the end

2008-01-22T11:23:00.000-06:00

My last semester in law school has finally started.

One of my professors today asked everyone to go around the room and explain why they're taking the class.

And, you know me - I firmly believe that honesty is always the best policy. So instead of coming up with some crap explanation for why I want to learn a particular subject, I told the class the truth:

"I'm in this class because the materials cost less than $100."

(To be fair, the class does look fascinating, and I am rather excited to take it. But the story of how I ended up in this class in the first place is way more entertaining.)

it'd be awesome if the bookmart sold used textbooks

2008-01-11T23:25:00.000-06:00

I just dropped a class for next semester simply because I didn't feel like shelling out $130 for brand-new materials.

I'm pretty sure that this signifies yet another new low in my law school career. Then again, I could just try to pass this off as me standing up for the principle that, since my tuition payments cover waaaaaaaay more than the value of the education I'm receiving (including the quality of the law school facilities), my books should be comped. Or at least available for a reasonable price.

Of course, while changing my schedule around, I kept having this nagging thought that this may not be my last semester, since odds are pretty good that I failed either Tax or Secured Transactions last semester. (In fact, I probably failed both - even though I actually studied for those exams and thought that I understood the material. Go figure.)

And this just in: the Character and Fitness portion of the bar application is torture. (Muffled voices in background.) Okay, so I've just been informed that every law student ever has felt this exact excruciating pain.

the common-sense train has left the station

2007-12-05T12:14:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I decided that it would be a good idea for me to dig my car out of the ice before the next batch of snow fell.

After chipping away at the four inch-deep pile of ice/snow that surrounded my tires, it was time to tackle the windows. And where was my ice scraper?

Stupidly, I put it in the trunk. When I opened the trunk, the scraper was wedged in the very back of the trunk up against the back seat.

Now, the smart person in this situation would just go into the backseat, pull the seat down, and retreive the scraper.

Instead, I just lean really far into the trunk to get the scraper. My trunk lid could not stay up because of the ice. So the lid kept falling down on my lower back as my legs came off the ground, causing me to pitch forward even further. Today, I have a bruise so painful that it hurts to walk or sit.

Thus concludes the story of how I tried to lock myself in the trunk of my own car. (I know; good story.)

Meanwhile, I don't know who is more excited about spending half of December and half of January in Texas - me, or my poor car.

honesty is the best policy, even in class

2007-11-28T12:50:00.000-06:00

A paraphrase of something that actually happened in class this morning:

Professor: [Dangerous Mind], do you want to play the defense attorney for this?

Me: No.

Professor: Well, too bad.

...a few minutes later...

Professor: So, [DM], do you really not want to be the defense attorney?

Me: No. I have no idea what's going on in here.

Professor: And why not?

Me: Because I haven't been in class for a week and a half.

It's not my fault that I couldn't get decent flights for Thanksgiving that allowed me to actually come to class last Wednesday and this past Monday. I swear. Besides, I'm less cranky when I'm in the warm weather and thawed out and basically not sitting in my crappy apartment in Madison.*

Meanwhile, I have a paper due in that class tomorrow (basically), I haven't read a thing, and I'm fairly certain that I missed some really important things while not being in class. So, that's going to be some serious fun tonight....and all I really want to do is lay down and watch last night's "Bones" again.**

*Let's talk about apartments for a second. My sister's apartment in Mesa, AZ has a bathroom that is larger than my KITCHEN. And she pays a couple hundred dollars less per month than I do. HOW IS THIS FAIR?!?!?!?! (Quick answer: it's not fair.)

**Let's be honest. I'm going to do that anyway. It's my second favorite show, and last night's episode was rather enjoyable. I'm not going to lie; if I was forced to kiss David Boreanaz for five steamboats, I'd consider that a good day.

i could really go for some turducken right now

2007-11-20T11:26:00.000-06:00

I'm flying to Phoenix tomorrow to spend Thanksgiving break with my sister.

Of course, since I'm flying from Madison, that must mean that I'm flying through O'Hare.* And, as I'm sure CNN and every major network news will be telling us over the next few days, O'Hare is bound to have monstrous flight delays due to whatever wintry mix of crap is falling from the skies.

So, right now, I'm working on converting all of the shows I've TiVoed over the last few weeks to a format viewable on my iPod. I'm also bringing some light class reading and a shiny new Sudoku book. I figure that Murphy's Law of Airports should work in reverse here: if I show up at the airport with that much stuff to do in preparation for six hours' worth of delays (on top of my two hour layover in Chicago), I won't have any delays whatsoever and I'll arrive in Phoenix on schedule.

*I originally typed "O'Hate" there. I think that's an appropriate description of that airport. Or, at least, my relationship with the place.

fun with homophones

2007-11-08T15:57:00.000-06:00

So when I got back to the law school from my daily trip to Starbucks, I heard some sort of metallic sound coming from the heel of my right boot.

I look down at my shoe, and the sole on my little skinny boot heel fell off onto the floor.

I'm pretty much convinced that this is symbolic of what the law school has done to my soul over two and a half years.

things i did to stay awake

2007-11-07T12:49:00.000-06:00

What I did in class today:

-- Shopped for sweaters on bananarepublic.com.

-- Read up on the latest (non-)dealings in the Writers' Guild of America strike.

-- Worked on the motion I have due in class tomorrow.

-- Looked for classes to take next semester. (Seriously, it's really hard to try and decide which crap is least...crappy.)

-- Created a new mix CD in iTunes.

-- IMed/e-mailed friends.

Up next: looking for players for my fantasy football teams to make up for the fact that the Patriots have a bye this week. It's going to be tough, though, to make up for the 25 points per week I get out of Tom Brady.

updateage

2007-10-29T13:02:00.000-05:00

So where have I been over the last ten days? Well...

**Birthday. Yes, I turned 26 last weekend. Did I have a good time? Yeah. Did I get to do what I really wanted to do for my birthday? No. But oh well. I did have a very lovely dinner on my birthday after a fun trip to the corn maze, so I can't complain too much. (But I wish I had been able to find a cheaper flight to Arizona to spend the weekend with my sister, who actually would have been willing to do what I wanted to do on my birthday, instead of making plans for my birthday and expecting me to be happy tagging along with those.)

**Sick. Of course, birthday weekend ended with me getting sick, and spending most of the past week sitting in class with a fever. (Note to the rest of the UW Law School: you're welcome.) Because this is me we're talking about, of course I had to get sick during the one week this semester where I've actually had work to do. Speaking of which...

**Schoolwork. I had two writing assignments, a cite checking packet, and...something else...all due last week. I've gotten the first writing assignment back and discovered that I completely misunderstood the instructions that my professor didn't really explain at all. (Apparently, "outside case law" meant "Wisconsin cases not in the materials". Who knew?) All that work led to me sitting in the library about ready to pass out with the above-mentioned fever. Although now that I think about it, I have a feeling that the schoolwork caused my illness. I have to believe that, at this point, my body is just completely opposed to doing anything productive, and my immune system is doing whatever it takes to keep me on the couch watching TV like I should be.

**Relaxation. So I woke up Saturday morning to the sound of the fly-over at the UW football game. No, I didn't go do the cane toss. I figured other people who actually had family coming to the game needed the tickets more than I did....and besides, I won my first trial over the summer. So unless the cane toss is now giving people "find a job" luck, it's really wasted on me. Saturday night was Halloween, which involved me not getting dressed up before going to a friend's house to watch scary movies. Sunday, I went and saw Dan in Real Life, which I was very impressed with. Honestly, I think Steve Carell has more than proven that he has actual acting talent, and isn't just a funnyman along the lines of Will Ferrell. (Okay, okay. I cried during this movie. I'll admit it.)

**Football. I know I touched on the Badger game above, but I need to take some time to point out that I'm really enjoying this football season. But that's probably because I'm a New England Patriots fan, and I'm having fun taunting my friends who are Redskins fans about the fact that Washington didn't really show up in Foxborough during yesterday's 52-7 trouncing. It's just a shame that I can't get Super Bowl tickets....

i hope this question isn't on the texas bar exam

2007-10-18T21:18:00.000-05:00

I'm watching this week's "South Park" for the second time now, and there's one thing I just can't get past.

Cartman and Kyle had this contract. If they did not see a leprechaun, Cartman owed Kyle $10. If they did see a leprechaun, Kyle had to suck Cartman's balls.

How is this a legally enforceable contract? I mean, aside from the whole "they're minors" thing (and the whole "this is a cartoon" thing)...

(Now I wish I had actually listened in Contracts class.)

(Also, I should stop thinking when I watch TV. It's so much more enjoyable when it's mindless. That's why "CSI: Miami" is so awesome.)

the end must be near

2007-10-15T12:08:00.000-05:00

I went to Career Services today to ask about the best way to find a job in Austin.

They were actually - dare I say it - helpful. No questions about my grades, no telling me that I'd be better off just looking for a job as a cashier at Target. Just them telling me the best avenues through which to get what I want. I know, I know - you're as shocked as I am.

(Looks out window of Secured Trannies classroom to see if locusts are falling from the sky.)

this (and ann coulter) are why I don't watch the news.

2007-10-14T00:05:00.000-05:00

I was watching something about school shootings other night on Anderson Cooper, but never wrote about it. Since it's Saturday night, and I'm sitting at home watching last night's "Men in Trees" that I TiVoed*, I think it's about time to write about it.

So Anderson was interviewing a former school shooter about what was going on when he did it. He said that, you know, everything he learned about death came from video games, and that when you die in [whatever video game he was talking about], you don't die, but come back to life and keep going. So he figured that, he'd just shoot people and they'd be fine because that's what happens in video games.

Seriously.

It took me a good five minutes to pick my jaw up off of the floor after hearing that. The kid looked about eighteen, so I figure he was at LEAST 12-13 when he shot up whatever school he was at. What 12- or 13-year-old doesn't know what death is? Who hasn't read a book where someone died, or learned in a class about some important historical figure being killed? Or have we as a society become so afraid of upsetting a child's perfect little world that we don't want to teach them the harsh reality of life; namely, that we're all going to end up as rotting corpses at one point or another?

I'm sure that we're just going to blame video games for this; video games make shooting people look so cool, and nothing bad ever happens, so of COURSE kids are going to think that life is exactly like a video game.** In reality, though, it seems like the problem would be the adults who refuse to sit down and talk to their children about important things like death and the difference between fiction and reality. But why would we want to blame ourselves when we can shift blame to someone else?

And then I got to thinking (before I changed the channel to something that didn't infuriate me nearly as much)...what if that's what this kid's lawyer told him to say? I mean, what better way to get out of a homicide charge then say that you didn't know any better and point to the evil video games that the average suburbanite (read: your jurors) likely think is too violent anyway and want to see taken down? Yeah, I know it's a long-shot, and sounds more like the plot of an upcoming "Boston Legal" episode, but... I guess if it looks like an idiot and speaks like an idiot, it's too much of an idiot to understand the consequences of it's actions.

*I am almost embarrassed to admit it, but I really enjoy "Men in Trees"...and not just because James Tupper is hot. It's a really funny, cute show - so much so that it almost makes me forget about the fact that it stars Anne Heche, and she's insane.

**Kind of like that episode of "Futurama" where Fry wishes life were more like a video game, except with fewer opportunities to smell Donkey Kong's loincloth.

the best show on television

2007-10-10T14:51:00.000-05:00

Is anyone out there watching "I Love New York 2" on VH1?

Because if you're not, you should be. It's hilarious.

Meanwhile, this season, Sister Patterson (New York's mother) brought on a few upstanding (read: rich) gentlemen to tempt her daughter. Two of these men are lawyers.

Now...if you were hiring a lawyer, and you get to your first conference with your potential attorney, then realize that you saw him on TV fighting for the love of a woman who was involved - twice - with Flavor Flav...wouldn't your first instinct be to turn around and walk right back out the door? Any man that thinks that New York is a quality woman has serious problems, and I don't think that I'd want an attorney whose judgment I can't trust. And then I'd laugh at him, because New York is foul.

There's also a midget on this season. That should be enough reason to tune in.

is "indian summer" still politically correct?

2007-10-08T08:57:00.000-05:00

...then again, I don't really care if it is.

The temperatures here in Wisconsin over the weekend reached 90 degrees. It was so hot in my poorly-ventilated apartment that I couldn't get to sleep until about 4:30 this morning. (And yes, for some reason, I showed up to my 9:00am class.)

I realize that, in all likelihood, I'll be moving to Texas in May, and that it's hot there. They also have air conditioning, which is more than I can say for any apartment in Madison that rents for less than $1000 a month.

(Don't worry - I'll be complaining about the frigid temperatures in about three weeks. When that happens, I don't want to hear it.)

where'd i put my 'role of the prosecutor' cliff's notes?

2007-10-03T12:21:00.000-05:00

I have a (very short, max 5 pages) paper due tomorrow.

The paper is supposed to discuss "the ideal prosecutor", based on my summer experiences and what we've discussed in class over the last four weeks.

Would've been nice if I had known that that would be the topic before I spent the three weeks before receiving the topic not paying attention.

This is gonna be interesting...just like all those times I wrote papers in high school without ever reading the books about which I was supposed to be writing.

(The good news is that I always got A's on those papers. I never read Heart of Darkness or A Tale of Two Cities, but my papers on those books were excellent. Then again, I went to a public high school. In the south. Not exactly swimming in the deep end of the gene pool.)

one step closer

2007-09-28T22:39:00.001-05:00

At least I don't have to work on finding other plans for next Saturday night...

Go Cubs Go!

musical interlude

2007-09-25T23:42:00.001-05:00

This video pretty much says everything that I've been trying to say with this blog for the last 22 months...except more awesomely.

last resort

2007-09-24T22:48:00.000-05:00

from the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel...

Yes, that is a goat farmer from Wisconsin at Wrigley this past Saturday. With a goat. Because even with Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun, Milwaukee needs a curse on the team ahead of them just to make the playoffs.

paying attention in class won't help me understand it anyway

2007-09-24T12:12:00.000-05:00

For those of you who saw me walking around the law school this morning.... yes, I was barefoot. And no, I don't care. I bought new flats over the weekend because I wanted shoes that were stylish, yet conducive to the mile-and-a-half walk home from school (i.e., not three-inch stilettos). However, said flats are not yet broken in, and by the time I got to my bus stop this morning, both of my feet were bleeding. So even if the floor in the law school is disease-ridden (which I'm sure it is, because crushed hopes and dreams leave a nasty rash), I'd rather risk it than deal with the pain of having a third layer of skin taken off of my heels by my shoes.

Should I be scared that I feel like Secured Transactions is already waaaaaaaaay over my head?

You know what? I'm not going to think about that right now. The new season of "CSI: Miami" starts tonight, which means that I'll watch David Caruso stare at the screen and give a one-liner that sums up the upcoming episode right before the scream in "Won't Get Fooled Again" starts the opening credits while wearing those really AWESOME shades. That'll be good for a few laughs.

what i'll be thinking about for the next week (or two)

2007-09-23T20:21:00.001-05:00

NLDS Home Game #1, Aisle 219, Row 7, Seat 11.

Now all I need is for the Cubs to keep winning (or for the Brewers to keep losing) this week so I actually get to use that playoff ticket.

Classes? Huh? What are those?

no matter how long it takes, no matter how far

2007-09-20T17:55:00.000-05:00

Has anyone else seen that Nike commercial with Shawne Merriman of the San Diego Chargers running through all sorts of different weather patterns tackling offensive players from various teams?

Can I just say that that commercial bugs the crap out of me for one very specific reason: the music playing in the commercial is the same piece of music that plays in "Last of the Mohicans" when Daniel Day-Lewis (and his hair) go charging up that mountain in North Carolina (okay, in the movie it's supposed to be, like, upstate New York, but I think the movie was shot near Asheville) after Madeleine Stowe and Jodhi May, who have been kidnapped by the indians that aren't Mohicans (they're what, Huron?).

You see, it bugs me because I'm usually not paying attention to the TV, I hear that music (which...okay, honestly, it's on my iPod), and get all excited because I think that my TV will be showing me a half-dressed, 1992-era Daniel Day-Lewis (and his hair)...then I look up and see that commercial. Now I'm sitting here completely bummed out because I'm not sure where my tape of "Last of the Mohicans" ran off to.

I think I'll be making a trip to Best Buy tomorrow...since I won't be in class and all.

now that i think about it...

2007-09-20T13:47:00.000-05:00

Next time I decide to go to a night game at Wrigley on a weeknight, I'm skipping class the next day.

Note that I'd rather stop going to class than stop going to games...particularly if those games have similar outcomes to last night's game. Man, was it sweet to see the Cubs win that one and keep their hold on first place.

(passes out from exhaustion in class)

stretch run

2007-09-19T12:42:00.000-05:00

I'll admit it - I haven't been paying attention at all today. I've been sitting in class with my stomach in knots as I twitch uncontrollably.

Why?

Because there are only ten games left in baseball's regular season, and my Cubs are thisclose to taking the NL Central title. I've spent most of the morning in class running through different scenarios in my mind, most of which involve figuring out if there's any possible way that the Brewers will manage to win the additional games necessary to take the division. (If you're doing the math at home, if the Cubs win 5 of their last 10, and the Brewers win 6 of their last 12, they end the season tied.)

So I'm headed down to Chicago tonight to watch what will be my last regular season game this year, and I'm more nervous about tonight's game than I've been about most of my law school exams...ever. Right now, instead of thinking about Secured Transactions, I'm praying to the baseball gods that Ted Lilly performs much better on 3 days' rest than Carlos Zambrano did last night. I'm pretty sure that says something about how messed up my priorities are.

Go Cubs.

your dentist's name is crentist?

2007-09-18T15:40:00.000-05:00

I had a dentist appointment scheduled for yesterday morning at 10; in order to go, I was planning on getting up around 8:30 and skipping my 9:00 class. At 7:45 I woke to the sound of my phone ringing. It was my dentist, calling to tell me that the hygienist was sick and asking me to reschedule the appointment. I told them that could be arranged.

Today, I skipped Tax to go to my newly-rescheduled dentist appointment. After a seemingly good check-up, I go to pay the bill, and am handed something by the receptionist. Apparently, my dentist shows his gratitude for rescheduling appointments by bestowing $5 Starbucks gift cards on his patients.

I just think it's rather amusing that a dentist is giving his patients the means to obtain super-sweet, tooth-staining, coffee-based beverages... But I'm not going to complain. Free Starbucks is free Starbucks, and anyone that enables my addiction is okay in my book.

quick poll

2007-09-08T17:52:00.000-05:00

Michigan is currently getting the snot kicked out of them by Oregon (39-7 with 2:30 left in the game). Is this:

(a) Funny
(b) One of the most hilarious things to be seen on television. Ever.
(c) Excellent news for the Badgers
(d) Kind of pathetic, in an "Oh, look at Britney's latest attempt at a comeback" sort of way
(e) The end of Lloyd Carr's career
(f) Some combination of all of the above

once bitten, twice shy

2007-09-05T12:46:00.001-05:00

I made the mistake of getting up to go to my 9am class this morning.

Yes, I know getting up that early for a class is always a mistake. But today was particularly mistakey. (That is a word. I made it up.)

There has been so much rain around here the past few weeks that mosquitoes are everywhere. I live two blocks from my bus stop. By the time I got to the bus stop, I had killed about five mosquitoes in mid-bite - on my arms, my legs, my face... When I got to school, I realized my arm was covered in red welts from all the bites I received. It's so bad that (a) I'm embarrassed to be sitting in class with my welty arm, and (b) I'll probably be wearing long sleeves for the foreseeable future.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but is it winter yet?

click it good

2007-08-29T16:57:00.000-05:00

Through two years of law school, I've managed to avoid any classes that employ The Clicker. The Clicker is a device that...you know, I don't know what The Clicker does, exactly. I think it's a thirty-some-odd piece of equipment that allows you to vote for a particular response, kind of like the "Ask the Audience" lifeline on Millionaire.*

So I get to the Bookmart today to buy my $500 worth of books (by far the most I've spent during my seven year education). The girl at the window starts assembling my pile, then comes back and asks, "You don't really want a clicker, do you?"

At that moment, I realized that maybe the Bookmart is really on our side. They know that The Clicker is a useless piece of crap...and that the $30 I would spend on a Clicker would be better spent on other things...such as "The Office: Season 3".

So I leftThe Clicker at the Bookmart. And The Clicker won't be joining my schoolbook family until the day when use of The Clicker seriously impacts my grade. Until then, I'll pantomime clicking on my cellphone when I start texting people to tell them that Clickers are ridiculous.

*Apparently, the old "raise your hand" device is too cheap for the faculty to ask the students to use.

chasing ron mexico

2007-08-22T00:04:00.000-05:00

Dangerous Mind will be in Richmond, Virginia until early next week.

On Monday, Michael Vick will be entering his guilty plea in the federal district court for the Eastern District of Virginia, also located in Richmond.

(thinks)

I may need some "Mallrats"-style blueprints to crash this party......

old friends

2007-08-19T00:41:00.000-05:00

J and I became friends on the first day of orientation - we were in the same group as each other, and she lived two floors above me. We had a blast freshman year...and then I committed the ultimate sin: I dated her ex-boyfriend. Basically, this guy came down to visit J after they had broken up, he and I became friends, and then we started dating over the summer.

Well, the ex-boyfriend and I split up shortly into my fall semester sophomore year, and J and I had a falling out shortly after that. After several months of moping around, I decided to just give up on the group of friends we had collected and move on, just living my life as independently and as care-free...well, as I have ever since. A few weeks into the spring semester of our sophomore year, I was having lunch by myself in the dining hall when J came over to join me. It took some time, but we eventually made up and repaired our friendship. (The same could not be said for the rest of our group of friends, who continued to ostracize me.)

J and I stayed friends for the next two years - we managed to plan some times to hang out while we were both studying abroad (once in Salzburg, the other in Edinburgh), we had weekly lunch dates, and we even spent most of graduation weekend celebrating together. A few weeks after graduation, we lost touch - the last I had heard was that she had moved in with the ex-boyfriend that nearly came between us (they had since gotten back together again).

In the four years since college, J isn't the only person with whom I've lost contact. The last friend I was in contact with stopped speaking to me in early 2004, after a falling out at work in which she was convinced that I was trying to get her fired. (I wasn't.)

The other day, though, I was puttering around on the interwebs when I glanced at the e-mail address that I really haven't used since college...and discovered that J had e-mailed me several hours earlier. Now I have a chance to reconnect with someone who played a rather large role in my life, and I'm pretty jazzed about that. Plus, it's always nice to know that, even though I spend the majority of my time alone, I'm not as completely alone as I think.

I think I'm gonna chase that feeling for a while.

back in black

2007-08-11T10:36:00.000-05:00

So, my ten week sojourn into the north woods of Wisconsin has finally ended....and not a moment too soon. There's something about having internet access and a working telephone (not just a cell phone - ANY phone) that I rather enjoy.

A few brief highlights (and lowlights) of the last ten weeks:

I discovered that I don't really suck at legal writing after all. (Either that or the north woods legal community is just really, really impressed when someone can string together a coherent sentence...)
I also managed to win two cases and successfully argue against a motion to dismiss. So, even though I had to essentially beg to get into the court room*, when I did manage to get in there, I didn't completely crash and burn.
My iPod died. While this normally wouldn't be a highlight, the death of my poor pink iPod mini resulted in me getting a sleek new black video iPod...which means that I can take "The Office" and "Bones" with me wherever I go, and don't need my laptop to do it.
I discovered that last semester was my best semester in law school - by FAR. However, that awesomeness doesn't counterbalance my three semesters of extreme suckage, and I still have to try and get a job with a crummy GPA and a sad lack of journal on my resume.
Which reminds me - I got rejected from the journal to which I applied.
...and I almost forgot the most important thing: the Cubs climbed from the depths of the National League Central to take over first place. They proceeded to promptly lose their hold on first place...but they've been within a game of the Brewers since July 29th. So I'm pretty confident that I'm going to be seeing some exciting pennant race baseball on September 2nd.

Either way, I'm sure something good will come of this experience. As soon as I figure out what that is, I'll let you know.

*Basically, my boss gets an intern so that he can spend the time he would normally spend on writing/researching on the golf course during the summer. He only showed up to work to go into the courtroom and do every hearing on the calendar - including initial appearances and bond hearings. So I really did have to beg to do more than just hand files to my boss while he was in court.

hiatus

2007-06-03T09:46:00.000-05:00

For the two people out there that are still checking in on this blog waiting for me to post something...

I'm off to the great north woods to start prosecuting. (At this point, I'd like to point out the hilarity of me living in a cabin in the woods for the summer. I was never one of those southerners that was into hunting or fishing; mallwalking, baseball games, and museums were more my thing. So the idea of me living around...critters...in a non-air conditioned cabin on a lake where I can go kayaking and fishing...it's really just laughable.)

Unfortunately, since I'll only have internet access at the office, the blog will be essentially dormant for the summer (save for the two or three weekends I'll be back in civilization).

Regular posting will resume in mid-August - just in time for me to start complaining about the futility of the job search process.

(If that's not a "Lost"-style cliffhanger, I don't know what is.)

P.S. For those of you who aren't into this summer's movie sequels, go check out "Waitress", starring Keri Russell and Nathan Fillion. It's probably the best movie that I've seen this year.

sometimes you close your eyes and see the place where you used to live

2007-05-11T01:42:00.000-05:00

Today, I finished the last final of my 2L year. (And honestly, that's about all I can say about that final. Seriously - sitting there talking about policy and "what I would do if I were a shareholder" makes me feel like my exam suddenly turned into an appointment with my shrink where we talk about feelings for an hour. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration...but I don't like the "that's it???" feeling I got from my Business Organizations II final today. And this is a really long parenthetical.)

So to celebrate the end of finals, I hopped in Flying Elvis and drove down to Chicago to go see The Killers in concert. Which means that I can now say "I saw Brandon Flowers faceplant on stage during a song." Aside from the slight prop malfunction, and aside from the fact the instruments (a) completely overpowered the vocals, and (b) were giving a lot of feedback during the latter portion of the show, it was a pretty good time.

This week has been a week of endings. First, on Tuesday night, I cried as I watched Rory graduate from Yale on "Gilmore Girls". Because, you know, it's been a rocky four years - from the class she got a "D" in, to the part where she dropped out and joined the DAR for a semester...makes my own sad little law school existence seem quite a bit less dramatic in comparison. But the bigger ending this week will occur about...34 hours from now, when my sister graduates from Lynchburg College in Virginia.

Which is where I'm headed tomorrow morning. Graduation will be followed by a drive from Lynchburg to Austin with my family, resulting in me spending more time in Tennessee than I ever wanted to, or will ever want to at any point in the future. (Tennessee is right up there with Alabama and Mississippi on my list of states that maybe, you know, the Union should've just let secede without a fight.)

But at least I now know that there's a store in Austin that sells cheese curds - something to look forward to while I'm on vacation.

the obligatory exam-related rant

2007-05-07T17:40:00.000-05:00

So today, for the third time in my law school career, I failed to finish an exam. The worst part was that it was in a class where I felt really comfortable with the material, I'd been reviewing constantly throughout the semester, and I was very confident about my ability to handle the exam.

Boy, was I wrong.

I don't know if it was about an hour into the exam (when my coffee started making me nauseous, forcing me to complete the last three hours with the exam having some sort of lactose intolerance issues) when I realized I was royally screwed.... or if it was looking at the exam in retrospect when I (a) failed to complete 2/3 of a question, and (b) discovered that I broke out into stress-related hives all over my neck that I realized just how bad it was.

But it was not good. Very, very not good. So not good that it was, in fact, bad. So bad that I wish that I had pass/failed Evidence instead of Trusts & Estates...because I don't think my GPA can handle the grade that I just got on that exam.

(If I had the capabilities, this would be the part where I post video of myself waving my legal career goodbye...or video of myself watching my legal career as it circles (and eventually goes down) my bathtub drain.)

funeral for a friend

2007-05-02T20:26:00.000-05:00

Laptop (May 2005 - April 2007)

Departed this life on April 28, 2007, Laptop O'Computer of Madison, WI (formerly of Richmond, VA). Born in Austin, TX, Laptop O'Computer was graciously brought to Dangerous Mind's Virginia home by Dangerous Dad. Before making her big trip to the Midwest, Laptop hacked into the Law Firm Network to give Dangerous Mind (and her awesome officemate) access to Cubs games via www.mlb.tv.* Laptop also provided remote access to the Law Firm Network to allow Dangerous Mind to look like she was at work when she was really at home taking a shower (read: too hung over to come into the office), and enabled Dangerous Mind to do work for Law Firm while on vacation in Texas. O'Computer also provided hours of mindless entertainment, be it playing Call of Duty 2 during exam time, replaying episodes of "The Office" in the Law Library, or granting hours of distractions via the internet during class time. Laptop worked tirelessly through two semesters' worth of laptop-based exams; however, the thought of having to do this a third semester (not including two more after this) made poor Laptop's little Pentium 4 processor give out.

Ms. O'Computer was preceded in death by her first two motherboards. She is survived by slavedriver/owner Dangerous Mind.

A memorial service honoring Laptop's life will take place in Austin, TX on May 14, 2007. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Dangerous Mind Lives in Frakkin' Eagle River for the Summer Fund.

*Once I told my boss that I couldn't come down to do a conference call until the Cubs game ended. And that's what my boss told the lawyer from a Slightly Larger Firm in Florida with whom we were having the conference call. Lawyer from SLFiF had a good laugh over that one.

the fiddy defense

2007-04-25T18:22:00.000-05:00

Okay, I admit it. I was too busy reading about the fact that Mark Prior is out for the season to actually pay attention to most of my Evidence class today.

The one thing I manage to overhear, though, is a fact pattern involving a statement a deceased declarant made after getting taken to the hospital with six gunshot wounds. My professor asks the class if anyone can counter the dying declaration hearsay exception.

So I pipe up with this: "Well, if 50 Cent can get shot, like, eight times and survive, this guy can get shot six times and think he'll survive."

Suddenly, I don't look so stupid for reading celebrity gossip blogs instead of studying, do I?

(You know what? Don't answer that.)

according to darwin, i should be dead

2007-04-24T15:30:00.000-05:00

So we have the pleasure of having T&E class in a different room today. I sit down at the seat I find the most agreeable to my head angle/typing/make-it-look-like-I'm-paying-attention tendencies, and start trying to plug my computer in. It doesn't work. I try my neighbor's outlet; it doesn't work.

Like the genius I am, I start jiggling the plug in the outlet, trying to somehow work the plug into the actual outlet. After about a minute, I feel a strange sensation in my thumb. You know, where I got shocked.

By a faulty outlet.

In the law school.

One of my friends in class told me that she thinks that I got shocked because the law school is mad at me for hating it so much. You know, like that episode of "The X-Files" where Mulder and Scully are in the middle of Florida on the way to an FBI retreat and end up getting attacked in the forest by the invisible spirit of the trees that has come to life to attack people.

Maybe the next time I sit down to watch "The X-Files", I should really think about picking up a book on electric wiring. You know, since my tuition apparently doesn't pay for someone to come into the law school and fix that sort of problems.

why i'm a bad person (today)

2007-04-23T18:25:00.000-05:00

I got invited to a friend's house for dinner. Said dinner is supposed to take place about an hour and a half after I get home from class.

So I ask my friend what's on the menu for that night - particularly whether the menu includes some sort of seafood or eggs (neither of which I eat).

Ever. (And my friends are huge quiche fans, which I find completely foul. Even the smell of eggs cooking makes me nauseous.*)

After class today, my friend asks me if I'm still coming to dinner. I say yes, and she replies that she was unsure because I had the gumption to ask what they were having for dinner. (Apparently, inquiries about the menu are extremely gauche when you're a picky eater.) So I point out that I wanted to be sure that I would actually have something to eat. My friend replies that the point of getting together for dinner is to enjoy the company, not to be concerned with what we're eating. (Hmm.) So I once again say that I wanted to know if I should eat in the hour and a half I'm sitting at home before I go over and hang out.... but apparently even that response has put me on the douchebag list.

I mean, I understand the fact that my question may have sounded like my hanging out was contingent on the menu. But at the same time, is it so difficult for people to understand that there are certain foods that others can't/won't eat? It's not like I was asking for special consideration; I just wanted to know if I should just eat last night's spice-encrusted chicken before coming over.

*Speaking of foul food smells, I should mention my dad's homemade tofu scramble. I'm convinced that particular smell is the smell of death (if not worse).

i hate making choices

2007-04-19T12:04:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to decide which class I want to take Pass/Fail: Trusts & Estates or Evidence.

I'm fairly confident that I'm going to bomb one of them; I'm just not sure which one it'll be. Now, I've been operating under the assumption that I'm going to pass/fail T&E, mostly because I have no idea what's going on in there (aside from how to distinguish marital property from individual property). On the other hand, I feel like I have a good grasp of Evidence.

Now, with one exception, the classes I feel like I have the best grasp in have been my lowest grades in law school. And my Evidence class is rather small (only about 40 students), and half of those students are your top-of-the-class, journal/moot court types. Conversely, there's about 120 people in T&E, which means that there's a lot more room for "B" students on the curve. But I'd have two more days to study for my Evidence final.

So what's the best way to go about this? Do I go with my initial intention and P/F T&E, or do I try and play the curve (and my Scott Norwood-like choking ability) and P/F Evidence?

an open letter to the madison hobo association

2007-04-17T23:36:00.000-05:00

Dear State Street Beggars,

Look, I'm sorry that I don't give out spare change like...well, like I have change to spare. Really, I am. But making catcalls (such as telling me what parts of me you'd like to "play with") isn't going to make me want to stop, turn around, and magically procure some change from the depths of my wallet. Maybe this just makes me a horrible person, but that sort of thing only makes me want to run away faster.

Thanks, though, for cementing my desire to stay in at night and catch up on my TiVO backlog.

Jim and Pam are totally real,
Me.

don't i have a constitutional right to not smell someone's foul odor?

2007-04-12T15:27:00.000-05:00

They say that there's a time and place for everything.

I'm assuming that this includes overloading on the perfume. You know the type of perfume - that stinky, musky, come-hither perfume that is only appropriate in bars?

Yeah. The time and place for that perfume does not include Trusts & Estates class. Especially when that perfume is worn in such a high quantity that the person behind you can smell you when the air conditioning blows a certain way.

Needless to say, I'm highly offended by this odor, and I think this person needs to enter some sort of rehabilitative facility to deal with her perfume addiction. If not for the rest of the student body that has to smell this crap, but for herself.

vicious cycle

2007-04-11T23:29:00.000-05:00

I'm currently using a Diet Coke (the non-caffeine-free variety) to wash down my sleeping pills.

I'm so smart, it's scary.

how i spent my spring break

2007-04-09T14:11:00.000-05:00

Some people write briefs, journal articles, or outlines.

Others spend all day lounging around on the beach.

Me? I make cake. Or, rather, I create an homage to one of my all-time favorite cartoons, using cake as my medium rather than paint or clay:

All in all, it was a good vacation. Twelve days was definitely too short.

nightmare

2007-04-03T13:02:00.000-05:00

It's spring break.

So why am I dreaming about Evidence class?

here we go again

2007-04-03T12:43:00.000-05:00

So some of my more loyal readers may remember my spring break adventure from last year.

Good news, my friends: this year did not disappoint.

Since Prosecution is at the crack of dawn and T&E is a mind-sucking vortex, I got an early flight out of Madison to start the spring break revelry on Thursday afternoon. I should've known I was in for a real doozy of a trip this year when my laptop (which had been acting up lately) just stopped working on Thursday morning. (It stopped responding to the battery, so it just lost charge. Basically, this resulted in me not being able to watch stuff on the plane.) And, because it's spring, it was storming in Texas. (You know, big Texas-style storms.)

So when I got to the airport, this is how it went down:

11:38 - walk up to self-service ticket thingy.

11:39 - roll eyes at evil glare from other spring breaker using the other self-service ticket thingy. scan credit card.

11:41 - scan credit card again after first transaction canceled.

11:43 - flag down ticket counter lady. credit card scanner not working.

11:44 - somewhere, the theme to "The Office" starts playing. oh! that's my cell phone.

11:45 - Dangerous Dad tells me that my 4:45pm Dallas-Austin flight has already been canceled. (note the current time.)

11:47 - ticket counter lady issues me first-class tickets for the only open flights from Dallas-Austin remaining: one for an early flight (in case my Madison flight is early), and one if it's not.

11:48 - call back Dangerous Dad to tell him that I'll be in Texas tonight, and won't be stuck overnight in Dallas.

11:49 - triple-check with ticket counter lady that I can take cheese curds through security screening.

11:54 - still on cell phone. Hang up, then toss it into security bin with laptop.

11:55 - phone starts ringing while it's in the middle of the scanner. Yes, apparently I am that guy.

So the plane gets to Dallas about five minutes late. Fortunately, the early flight for which I was ticketed was delayed about an hour, so I had plenty of time to make the flight without sprinting the length of the Dallas airport. So we board the plane about 4:15...and then sit on the runway in Dallas for about 20 minutes because of "storms in Austin". When we finally take off, I see lightening bolts out the window (always a good sign). Then our hour-long flight takes longer because we have to go "around the storms" - namely, from Dallas to Austin via El Paso.

I get to Austin about 6:15 that night - only 20 minutes later than originally scheduled. As I'm explaining this to my parents and grandparents, they tell me that there were never any storms in Austin, so that couldn't be the reason for the extra delay. But at that point, it really didn't matter, because the evil magic powers of Howie do not hold a candle to the evil magic powers of Cliff, so I was able to make it to my destination that day (instead of being stuck overnight in Denver).

My luggage, on the other hand, was still ticketed for the canceled flight - consequently, it didn't arrive until 11:15 the next morning.

seriously, who scheduled spring break this late?

2007-03-27T20:39:00.000-05:00

About 2 hours before T&E today, my computer screen started blinking randomly. I soon figured out that this is because my computer didn't think it was connected to the power source, so kept going back into power save mode, then re-connected itself.

Now, I'm no computer whiz, but I'm pretty sure that this is a motherboard problem. (Yes, I've already had 3 different motherboards in this piece of crap.)

At the same time, I think this is a sign. Even my laptop (an inanimate object without a mind of it's own - no matter what Orwellians think) knows that spring break should've been two weeks ago....and I'm pretty sure this whole motherboard thing is just a cry for help.

urgent news bulletin

2007-03-24T12:12:00.000-05:00

This just in:

Leggings are not pants. They are meant to be layered underneath something (unless you're at the gym, at which point all bets are off). But they are NOT to be worn as typical pants. Thank you.

We will now rejoin your regularly scheduled blog-reading frivolity, already in progress...

exasperated

2007-03-22T18:49:00.000-05:00

I'd like to know who the genius was that decided that UW's spring break this year would be scheduled for the first week of April. (For those of you doing the math, that's after Week 10 of the semester...leaving us (law students, at least) with 3.5 weeks of class before exams.) I want to find that person, and I want to stab that person in the jaw.

Because I realized today that I'm crabbier than usual. I've started snapping at almost every person I come in contact with (instead of just saying the nasty comments inside my head). The dark spots under my eyes have become darker and circley-er. I'm tired all the time - despite the fact that I sleep nearly 12 hours a night thanks to my friend, Mr. Over-The-Counter, No-Prescription-Needed Sleeping Pill. And, well, my gnat-like attention span has decreased dramatically over the last two weeks.

And then I sat down, thought about it, and came to a conclusion: I need a vacation. Preferably last week. Which...if the UW calendar-creator wasn't completely demented (or didn't have a death wish), it probably would've been.

swallow first, then answer question

2007-03-21T22:30:00.000-05:00

Our Prosecution class is ridiculously early in the morning. (Granted, I think anything before 1pm is "ridiculously early", but I digress.) Since it's so early, it's not uncommon for students to bring breakfast to class. Yesterday, though, one of the students in class actually took a bite of their breakfast, then proceeded to volunteer an answer to a question - complete with a mouth full of food.

Cut to this afternoon - this same person is in my Evidence class.

(Quick sidebar: in my experience, most people don't volunteer to answer questions without having an answer - in fact, most people that know (or have a good idea about) the answer choose not to respond.)

This particular person, so eager for those three participation points that probably aren't going to factor into our grades at all, volunteers to answer a question. Then, after the professor acknowledges this student (rather than the four others that also raised their hands), the student starts flipping through the textbook looking for the correct answer. (I can only compare this to the show "Jeopardy!", when people are trying so hard to get their buzzer to work that they ring in before actually figuring out the correct question.)

It's not like this particular person never gets a chance to speak in either class. Rather, this person volunteers answers on a regular (read: constant) basis. I'm thinking that the over-eagerness bit, though, has started to cross the border into "kind of sad and just a little bit pathetic" territory.

with friends like these, who needs enemies?

2007-03-20T10:00:00.000-05:00

So I have this class that prepares us for our summer clinical positions. Part of this class involves basic writing assignments with feedback. And, unlike many of the people that sit around me, I consistently receive good feedback on these assignments.

I was excitedly telling my friends about this one night last week - mostly because my lack of a boyfriend (to dictate every waking minute of my life outside of school) means that I have nothing else to drone on and on about. After talking about my semi-good fortune in this class, one of my friends pipes up, "Maybe you've finally found something in law school you're actually good at." (emphasis hers, not mine)

I didn't think about it at the time, but the more time that passes, the more I think I'm actually insulted by that. I'm (fairly) certain she didn't mean that to come out as catty as it did...but I'm starting to second-guess myself by wondering if certain friends of mine honestly think that I'm not fit to grace the same "hallowed" halls as them.

smackdown in buffalo

2007-03-15T21:29:00.000-05:00

Virginia.

Frakkin'.

Commonwealth.

The irony behind all of this is that EVERY SINGLE ONE of VCU's players was recruited by former coach Jeff Capel, III. Who is Jeff Capel, you ask? Capel was one of Duke's best basketball players. Ever. (Per Wikipedia, he finished his career among Duke's all-time Top 10 in minutes played, three-point field goal percentages, three-point field goals, and assists.) He coached at VCU for four years before leaving last April for the University of Oklahoma.

There's probably also a good chance that they wouldn't have even made the tournament this year had they not beaten George Mason in the CAA finals. I'd hope that this would shut up every single analyst and bracketologist that spends months and months fellating the ACC (and all other major conferences, for that matter)...but I know it won't.

So for now, I'm going to smile and do a happy dance for my "frienemies" at VCU.

bracketology

2007-03-15T15:57:00.000-05:00

So today, I came down with this horrible case of March Madness (cough cough) and couldn't bear to infect the rest of the law school population (cough). So I stayed home - never mind the fact that I woke up sometime after halftime of the first game today. And never mind the fact that none of my upsets have come through (although Davidson looked freakin' awesome in their game against Maryland).

All I know is that today, being awesome does not look like the inside of my T&E classroom, but looks more like this:

he's just not that into you

2007-03-13T23:02:00.000-05:00

Typically, I take the Justice Scalia approach to dating: if he's interested, he'll say so explicitly. You can't loosely construct a conversation to reach the conclusion that the sparks you're feeling are felt by that other person. But every now and then, I start to let my guard down and allow the "looks" and the flirtatious remarks to overpower my logical approach to the situation.

So when you feel a certain chemistry (for lack of a better term) with a person, and you're not sure which side of the "friends" line that chemistry falls on...do you follow your heart, which is telling you that you're not completely crazy, and that there's at least something there worth pursuing - and that you should just let him know that you want to get to know him better?

Or do you just say screw it, he's not worth all the time you've spent thinking about your personal dilemma, place this one squarely in the "friends" column, and either (a) force yourself to ignore the attraction, or (b) just avoid being anywhere near him altogether?

indoor voices

2007-03-12T15:25:00.000-05:00

Dear Ridiculously-Loud-Girl-in-the-Bathroom,

Look, I realize that you're so self-absorbed that you need to shout when you talk so that EVERYONE in the surrounding time zone pays attention to YOU. However, there's this thing called "acoustics". So when you shout while you're talking to your friend outside the stall waiting for you, everyone between here and Pittsburgh can hear you. And I think I speak for the residents of every city between Madison and Steel Town when I say this: no one cares.

Please shut up,
Me.

pain

2007-03-11T01:08:00.000-06:00

As much as I may whine about it sometimes, I really do enjoy my alone-ness. There's something really liberating about not having to live my life as though it revolves around another person's schedule, no having to check "our" schedules to see if I can go out and do something "I" want to do, etc.

But tonight, I remembered the downside of the whole alone thing.

I got home from a wonderful night out with friends (the first night out in a while), and conveniently forgot that my parking lot is a sheet of ice. (You would think that I would've remembered, since it took me an hour and a half earlier today to dig my car out of said ice.) I'm happily strolling across the lot into my apartment when I slip on the black ice.

Like, cartoon character-style legs-over-head slip.

And then land with a crack - except this cracking wasn't the ice.

I can still feel my toes...but barely. There's this pain shooting up and down my leg right now, but it's not like a muscle pain or a bruise. It's more like someone's taking tiny needles and poking my bone really, really fast over a space of about six inches. And what sucks is that I can't get off the couch to go into the bathroom to get the peroxide to clean out the giant scrape on my elbow that also resulted from the aforementioned fall. (What's awesome is that I cut my elbow through a thick wool coat, a wool sweater, and a long-sleeved t-shirt.) And since it's 1:15 (2:15, depending on when it is we exactly spring forward tonight) on a Sunday morning, it's not like I have a lot of friends around that are free to, like, help me in case I pass out at some point in the night.

If I were in a lighter mood, I'd joke about how this is just further proof that I need to move back down south where it's warm. But...this really, really isn't funny. Rather, it's just me coming to the sad realization that maybe, just maybe, I can't do everything on my own.

better late than never?

2007-03-08T10:00:00.000-06:00

My Prosecution professor informed us this morning that he'll have our syllabus ready for us next week. We've been in class for about 7 weeks now...and we have 6 weeks (and a day) left in the semester - so by the time this gets posted, we'll have a little over 5 weeks left. At this point, I think we'll be able to survive without it.

In other news, the SBA has finally started posting final "Pay for your Locker or be Evicted" notices on the lockers on those students that haven't paid their $55 locker fee this year. Again...5 weeks left before exams...they've been asking for this money since AUGUST. Just how badly do they really need this money if they don't start demanding it until it's about 27 weeks overdue? How about this - don't expect these students to pay until you guys actually start doing something worthwhile.

need help; please send diet coke.

2007-03-06T22:18:00.000-06:00

I realized this afternoon after I went into a selfish rage that, well, I've been on a shorter-than usual fuse lately.

So in my mind, I rewind to this past weekend. Specifically, the half hour I spent on Sunday afternoon scraping ice off of my car, only to realize that it was all for naught because I'm parked on a giant sheet of ice and all that happens when I step on the gas pedal is that my wheels spin. This spinning means that I haven't been able to get to a grocery store in over a week. Which means that my weekly supply of caffeinated beverages has sadly run out. Instead of my normal 5 sodas a day, I'm down to 2...maybe 2 sodas plus a coffee, depending on the day.

So if you see me between now and this weekend and I'm even less chipper than my normally disgruntled self, don't fret - I'm just going through serious caffeine withdrawal.

In other news, have I mentioned lately that I hate law school/Madison and can't wait to leave?

i'll take "things i'd never thought i'd hear myself say" for $400, alex

2007-03-02T18:06:00.000-06:00

As the snow continues to fall here in good old Mad City, I've started to come to a realization.

I want to move to Texas.

Why would anyone that has spent their whole life living dreaming of living in the northeast (or Chicago) ever even remotely consider moving to the Lone Star State?

Well...yeah, okay, my parents live there. More importantly, I'd like to think I could move back in with my parents and live relatively cheaply while I try to pay off my $160,000 in loans on a $35,000/year salary. And since on that salary I couldn't afford my Cubs games, I may as well be as far away as I can get to avoid the temptation of enjoying a sunny Saturday at Wrigley.

It's warm there most of the year. Today, my mother sent me yet another "hey, guess what - I got sunburned this week!" message - just her way of letting me know that she ~~thinks it's hilarious that I'm stuck under a foot of snow~~ loves me. Apparently.

And since I haven't mentioned it in a while...decent Mexican food. Edible Mexican food. Mexican food that was cooked by Mexicans that came across the border illegally a week ago - not a year ago. (And yes - only 27 days until I go to Texas for spring break, and Mexican food will be the first thing I eat after my grandparents go back to New York.)

one of life's greatest mysteries - solved!

2007-02-28T23:14:00.000-06:00

The funniest thing I've seen all day. I don't know where it came from (my sister sent it to me), but it's ridiculously awesome. Not to mention the fact that this knowledge probably would've gotten me a better grade on my AP Physics exam.

politically incorrect

2007-02-28T21:41:00.000-06:00

Instead of having six panels over two weeks about some inflammatory (minority-related) comments a professor made during class, shouldn't the students and the administration be more concerned about more important things?

Like the fact that we're losing our best business law professor to friggin' BYU next year?

Or how about the fact that Wisconsin is seriously lacking in the international law, health law, and IP departments?

Maybe, instead of complaining about the professors we have, we should be complaining about those we don't. Otherwise, this place'll become more of a joke than it already is.

laugh of the day

2007-02-23T17:35:00.000-06:00

It's no secret that I think that "The Office" is one of the five best shows on television. And because I love it so much, I'd like to share that love with those of you that haven't seen this on YouTube already. So, please enjoy a video tribute to Dwight Schrute of "The Office".

virtually impatient

2007-02-23T14:47:00.000-06:00

The last Friday in February is notable for only one thing: being the day on which Chicago Cubs single-game tickets go on sale. Unfortunately, this also means the return of the Cubs Online Ticketing System, complete with Virtual Waiting Room.

After last year's debacle, which ended with me not getting the tickets I wanted, I was quite a bit more wary this year. Mostly because this year, I actually had games that I planned on going to with people...not just by myself. The great thing about the Cubs is that they tend to sell out every summer weekend for groups of more than 2 by the end of, well, the first weekend on which tickets go on sale, so the VWR is essentially unavoidable for a large group on, say, Labor Day Weekend.

So I dutifully get online around 9:30 this morning to mark my place in the non-existent line, hoping to get in soon enough to get my tickets. As I was browsing the internet to pass the time, I discovered that most people that were getting tickets had, like, 30 browser windows open - so me with the piddly 2 windows I'd had open for about an hour and a half at that point just wasn't going to work. So I decide that, if I couldn't beat the cheaters, I should join them.*

Lo and behold, the "Select Tickets" screen popped up...about 50 minutes later. The problem, unfortunately, was that having so many windows open caused my internet to freeze up. So I have to reboot and re-start the process all over again, this time with fewer windows.

"Select Tickets" screen pops up another 20 minutes later; internet freezes again.

This happens twice more before I decide that just having a wireless connection probably isn't going to help - that maybe having the ethernet cables would keep the wireless from timing out. I reboot once more, and within 10 minutes, I have two "Select Tickets" screens...and 10 minutes later, I have 2 sets of tickets - one for my law school friends in April, and one for my family in September.

Play ball!

*Yep, that's me with 20 browser windows open, all trying to get past the Virtual Bouncer at the door of the Virtual Waiting Room. I'd like to point out that, this year, the Cubs made it so that you couldn't open multiple VWRs in multiple browser windows. What they failed to account for was the fact that you can open multiple pages in different tabs in both Firefox and IE. So, thanks guys. I mean...oops?

bringing joy to the law school, one sad soul at a time

2007-02-21T21:36:00.000-06:00

The other night, my sister sent me a link to this website that offers about 600 original Nintendo games, available to play for free whenever you like, and told me that I would never, ever pay attention in class again.* So within minutes, I did the only thing I could think to do: I sent it to a friend that's in my Trusts & Estates class.

The next afternoon, in T&E, my friend told me that she sent it to another friend also in our class, and that they had been playing all afternoon.

Cut to this afternoon, when I see the second friend from T&E, who told me that she had since sent the link to another dozen or so of her friends...and that every time Mario died, the girl behind her in class gasped audibly.

I, surprisingly, have surprisingly avoided playing games in class; rather, I have been waiting until breaks (or, like, now, playing games at home instead of doing my writing assignment for Prosecution). Today, I displayed so much restraint that I waited until the break in Evidence to whip out the Ms. Pac Man (way more awesome than regular Pac Man. Don't ask me to explain why). Five minutes later, the guy behind me was asking for the link. After discovering one of his favorite games on the website, he gave me the following quote (for posing on the blog, of course):

"You just saved my semester."

So for the rest of you out there that hadn't already been sent this link through the law school IM tree...you're welcome. And don't say that I never did anything nice for anyone.

*I give it three months before someone finds this and makes the webmaster take it down because of some sort of copyright issue.

warmth

2007-02-08T13:27:00.000-06:00

As I said yesterday, the law school is ridiculously cold. This morning, I got to class and my toes never thawed out from the ten minute walk between the bus stop and the law school.

Today, however, in exchange for some delicious chocolate, a friend directed me to the one warm spot in the law school: the Remington Center. Now, instead of freezing in the library, I'm enjoying a cozy seat in the RC, and my toes have finally stopped hurting from the cold.

I'm convinced that this is some sort of Walter Dickey-created conspiracy. The Dickey Disciples on the faculty want everyone to join one of the Remington Center prison-based clinics. So my guess is that they've taken the whole "pimping the clinics in Crim Law classes" thing one step further by cutting off the heat in the rest of the building. So now students have to choose the lesser of two evils: participate in a Remington Center clinic instead of taking actual classes, or take the classes and lose your fingers and toes to frostbite.

i just figured out what my tuition pays for

2007-02-07T15:45:00.000-06:00

I hate the cold weather. It doesn't agree with my constitution. We didn't have much cold weather down south. Unlike the north, we boasted warm(er) weather in winter, edible fried chicken, and an uncanny ability to turn a two-syllable word into a six-syllable word.

Needless to say, I (like many other students) get really cranky when we come in from the frigid cold outside to discover the law school building is also ridiculously cold. Right now, I'm sitting in class with two layers of clothes and a scarf on and still freezing cold. And after five minutes of freezing, I noticed the draft above my head (in a windowless room).

That's right - my law school in the middle of Wisconsin is running the air conditioning. In February. During the coldest spell of the winter.

I don't know about you all, but in my experience, it's way cheaper to use gas to heat a building than to use electricity to run the air conditioner all day. I mean, it's not like this is the Mall of America, and we can use the body heat of all the students to heat the building instead of actual heating systems.

This only makes me wonder how much money is used to pay for the fact that the admininstration can't use energy efficiently.

coincidence?

2007-02-05T11:23:00.000-06:00

For the record, I did not plan to get hit with an icky stomach virus today to keep me from venturing outside to class on the coldest day of the year (as in, it's -7 outside right now).

Not even I am that awesome.

(And yes, I really am sick. I'm not using that as an excuse to not go outside and subsequently lose my toes to frostbite.)

figures...

2007-02-01T19:22:00.000-06:00

So there's this job that I want next summer. The only job I've seen out there that I really, really want. It's a job back east, doing something I potentially want to do for a career, and in a city where I don't have to pay to live, thanks to the large number of extended family members living in this city's metro area.I applied for the job in mid-November, and then heard nothing.

So instead, I applied for (and got) another summer job through the school. I signed my "contract" with the professor, signed up for the class that accompanies the job, and began making arrangements to spend the summer up in a place that I can only describe as Northeast Buttlick, Wisconsin. (It's about 20 miles south of Michigan's U.P.)

Today, I get a call asking if I want to interview for the job I want. Now, I know that interviews don't necessarily mean a job...but the fact that circumstances are such that I can't even interview for the job that I want is really, really depressing.

tales from the couch

2007-02-01T19:21:00.000-06:00

I know that I haven't been posting (much) of late. That's mostly because I'm bloody exhausted after two weeks of school, and the only thoughts that seem to come to my mind are about how I really, really abhor law school. Since that's pretty much the theme of every post I've posted since I started this blog, I figured that you're all pretty much tired of hearing me ramble on and on about how law school was the biggest mistake of my life.

I also realized that, through not posting, I also didn't tell some of my awesome vacation stories. (For those of you that don't know, I spent a week at Disney World, two weeks in Florida, and a week in Richmond.) (Side note: how obvious is it that I want nothing to do with Madison?)

So now, I give you Volume One of my Tales from the Couch: Me vs. the TSA

Setting: Orlando International Airport
Actors: Me, Mom, Dad, Sister, TSA Worker

So we're at the airport on our way home from Disney World. Mom has all the breakable items in her carry-on bag, mostly because anything you actually want to keep should not be touched by the baggage handlers. (Especially if you're traveling through O'Hare, as I've now learned.)

One of these items is my sister's cup that sort of doubles as a snow globe. (The sides of the cup have little pieces of glitter and plastic stars floating in liquid inside.) I wish I could explain it better than that, but whatever.

TSA Worker lady starts searching my mom's bag, mostly because it's a bunch of large objects wrapped in several layers of paper. The Worker asks Mom if she has any liquid, and Mom mentions the liquid in the sides of the cup. Worker then tells Mom that, if she wanted to keep the cup, she shouldn't have mentioned it - since it's liquid, it can't go through security.

At this point, I'm just stepping through the metal detector and hearing the tail end of this conversation. So I hear the TSA Worker telling my mother that because the sides of the cup could freeze and burst, it can't be taken on a plane. I ask about the 3-ounces-of-liquid rule, but the Worker brushes me off. So then I (not so politely) tell her that, if they're going to pull this crap on tourists, that they need to do a better job of explaining that vacation souvenirs need to be shipped home via the postal service (because baggage handlers suck). She snottily replies that they "tell the theme parks" that, but it obviously didn't work because there's obviously no one at the park who's concerned with anything other than getting their $20 for a sparkly plastic cup. At this point, my mother pretty much drags me away, because she apparently didn't want to have to worry about me getting arrested in Florida.

We take the tram over to the other terminal, still angry at these people (except my sister, who is crying because (a) we're all mad, and (b) it was about the only souvenir she actually wanted). So I mention the 3-ounces rule again, and that basic physics would mean that an 8-ounce cup with barely-quarter-inch sides probably didn't contain over 3 ounces of liquid. So my parents decide to go back to the TSA Worker to get a better explanation of why this cup was problematic.

Fast-forward twenty minutes of my sister and I talking about how we're going to make it home if Mom and Dad end up arrested. Parents come back with the cup. TSA Worker, instead of asking us to wait at the security checkpoint, waited until we left to actually talk to her supervisor about the cup with very little liquid. She then explains to the Parents that, well, if we had put the cup in a plastic bag before running it through security, there would be no problem.

Why they couldn't just re-run the cup through security while we were still there, I don't know. Why people think that terrorists are more likely to put liquid bombs in souvenir cups from Disney World than they are into cell phones, laptops, PSPs, PDAs, or iPods, I don't know. All I know is that I managed to tell off a TSA Worker without getting arrested. I win.

the rocky defense

2007-01-24T18:07:00.000-06:00

Man, Evidence class sure gets punchy around 5:15...

Professor: The defense attorney asks the witness if he was in line for Rocky IV rather than Rocky III. The prosecutor objects. Is this relevant?

D.: It is relevant...if the witness can't tell the difference between Dolph Lundgren and Mr. T, then how can he identify the shooter?

(mis)fortune

2007-01-22T21:06:00.000-06:00

If you open up the fortune cookie that comes with your Chinese food, and several of the words are misspelled, does that void the fortune? Or does that just mean that the fortune cookie company needs to find a new editor?

aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves here?

2007-01-19T10:57:00.000-06:00

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last week, you'll know that the Chicago Bears are playing the New Orleans Saints in the NFC Championship this Sunday. Chances are, if you've flipped through the sports pages or watched ESPN during that time frame, you'll also know that New Orleans has never had a team go this far in the playoffs. (And unless you were cryogenically frozen since about August 2005 and were just unfrozen yesterday, you also know that the Saints had to play elsewhere last season because of Katrina, that New Orleans was pretty much destroyed, etc. etc. etc.)

So some lawyers down in New Orleans have a trial set for Monday. And they're thinking that, not only is Rex Grossman going to play like Rex Grossman and cause the Saints to win, but that the parties in New Orleans will last well into Tuesday. In order to have a full jury pool, they've requested that the trial date be moved to Wednesday. (Of course, if you read between the lines, it pretty much says that the defendants and defense counsel will be too blitzed after the Sunday afternoon game to show up in court Monday morning.

I mean, it's nice that they're being optimistic about the Saints' chances here (which, let's face it, are good, on account of Rexy and all). I personally enjoy how their priority here is football, not being a lawyer 24-7-365. My kind of lawyers.

I wonder if they're hiring.

g1mm1cks

2007-01-05T01:52:00.000-06:00

First there was "Se7en", the alternate title for the (spoiler alert) Gwyneth's-head-in-a-box thriller from, like, 1997. Then came "Numb3rs" on CBS. And now, the other day, I saw a commercial for the new movie "Thr3e". I don't know what it's about - I only remember the trailer because there was a number in the title. Does the "stop and think about it" factor mean that I should start replacing any letters in my post that look like numbers w1th th3 c0rr35p0nd1ng num83r5.

Oooh yeah. No. Believe me, it hurt to type that as much as it now hurts to go back and read it - mostly because the last time I thought this sort of thing was clever, I think I was in 4th (maybe 5th) grade, and I discovered that typing 5318008 on a calculator spells "boobies" when you turn the calculator upside down.

I'd like to know who decided that this was a good marketing strategy. Granted, it does make me think about the movie more, but not in a "wow, that looks like the next 'Gone with the Wind'" sort of way. It's more of a "is the movie that bad that they need to resort to that level?" Especially in the case of that show "Numbers" - yeah, it really is that bad. (Then again, they can't all rise to the caliber of "CSI: Miami".)

begone vile thoughts

2007-01-03T15:52:00.000-06:00

You know how Sunday nights are often ruined by the consistent mental reminders that you have to get up and go to work/class the next morning?

Yeah. That's how I feel right about now...except that "Sunday nights" is actually "my vacation", and "the next morning" translates to "in two and a half weeks". When I got an e-mail last night about some student org planning for next semester, I almost cried.

Whatever. Back to watching Andrew Shue's complete failure to exercise his acting chops on "Melrose" reruns.

off notice

2006-12-20T12:32:00.000-06:00

Those who have read this blog over the past semester know that I am not exactly a fan of the Law School Bookmart. In early September, I put the Bookmart on notice for not buying back a book that I bought for a class that got cancelled.

Today, after my evil, evil International Law final, I made my way to the Bookmart to get rid of my ridiculously overpriced (~$120) book that I opened no more than a dozen times all semester. And I walked away with (a) no book, and (b) $37 dollars. While it's not a lot of money, it's more than the $10 I was expecting. And it finally provides some justification for taking that god-awful class.

The Bookmart is now off notice.

agent mulder would be proud

2006-12-17T13:10:00.000-06:00

When the "best possible argument" you can make on an exam is based on a conspiracy theory - as in pretty much stating that the facts suggest that "everyone's out to get my client" - then it may be time to just cut your losses and pack it in.

I knew there was a reason why I shouldn't wear my tinfoil hat to my exams.

this may seriously cut into my sitting-around time

2006-12-17T01:24:00.000-06:00

There's a lot on the agenda, now that the "Eating Mexican Food Cooked by Real Mexicans that Came Over the Border Illegally Last Week" countdown is at 4 days, 15 hours, and about 10 minutes.

-~~Take Biz Orgs final (hopefully I'll get more than 2.5 hours' sleep before this one)~~
-~~Buy birthday card for grandmother~~
-~~Write out Christmas Cards~~
-~~Mail birthday and Christmas Cards~~
-Kill Germans any way I can (by shooting Nazis in Call of Duty 2. Come to think of it, the fact that I find this game ridiculously therapeutic is probably a problem requiring serious psychiatric help.)
-~~Put away laundry that I did last Monday while studying for Con Law final~~
-~~Buy cheese curds to take to Texas~~
-~~Do dishes that have been sitting in sink since...well, let's just say that carbon dating may be involved to answer that one.~~
-Clean out moldy food in fridge
-~~Pay as many January bills as possible~~
-~~Watch entire first seasons of "Heroes" and "Friday Night Lights" that I have TiVoed~~
-~~Study for International Law final~~
-~~Take (and probably fail) International Law final (why, oh why, did I take this class?!?!)~~
-~~Shred the dozen piles of mail lying around my living room so they don't catch fire while I'm away~~
-~~Turn off TiVo season passes for "General Hospital" and "Angel" so that my TiVo doesn't fill up while I'm gone~~
-~~Pack for month-long vacation~~
-Clean bathroom so that I don't return to find a sink full of spiders this year.
-Find flip flops to wear (1) to the airport in defiance of stupid "take shoes off" regulations that people seem to think really stop terrorism, and (2) for the first three weeks of vacation, until I make it to Richmond...and even then, I can't promise that I'll wear shoes.*
-Pick out DVDs to watch on the plane - preferably ones that will lead to the most disapproving stares from fellow passengers.

But before I get to all that...I think I'm gonna go take a nap.

*Now that I think about it...does anyone know if those airline liquid restrictions are still in place? I'd like to know if I need to somehow become a camel between now and Thursday morning, since I consume about 70oz of liquid during any one flight in order to avoid airsickness.

you give me fever

2006-12-15T22:53:00.000-06:00

I'm trying to figure out why I've been nauseous and been running a fever since last night.

I really hope that the fact that I've been averaging 4 hours of sleep a night because of exams has nothing to do with that. Because if that's the case, then having that strong of an allergic reaction to studying probably isn't a good thing, considering I have 2 more exams and all.

super-fabulous con law study time

2006-12-10T01:30:00.000-06:00

The best part of studying has to be the part where you go through your class notes and read all the ridiculousness that you put there. A few exerpts:

"Art. I §9 lists several things that the Cubs cannot do." - Three guesses as to what was occupying the other half of my computer screen that day, and the first two don't count.

"The court is made up of a bunch of old fogeys with colostomy bags and walkers that are really just craving some cottage cheese and reminiscing about Steve Allen." - Now that I think about it, I doubt that the cottage cheese thing is true for every Justice.

"Philadelphia v. New Jersey - why the fuck Philly gotta (a) make so much trash, and (b) send it all to New Jersey? New Jersey lost, because it *is* America's trash heap." - The court can say whatever it wants - we all know this was the real reason for the outcome.

something to ponder

2006-12-09T16:17:00.000-06:00

Which is worse:

Having a reason to celebrate, but no one to celebrate with

-or-

Having no reason to celebrate at all...?