Sunday, November 13, 2005

christmas comes earlier every year

I'd like to think that the intended meaning of this phrase is that, as we get older, time seems to go by faster and faster.

However, I'm beginning to think that the marketing geniuses that buy and sell the soul of America have taken this just a little bit too far. First it was Christmas music and displays being brought out in stores on Black Friday, which is okay. Then it was towns across the country putting up Christmas decorations the week before Thanksgiving.

Imagine my surprise, though, when my sister called me about two hours ago to tell me that "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" was on TBS. On November 13th. Christ, people...we already have cell phones glued to our ears, wireless internet installed in nearly every retail location where there's food and a seat across the country, and that annoying Fox News ticker that tells us whether the President passed a bowel movement. By next year, I'm sure we'll be hearing Christmas music on some radio station sometime between Halloween and Guy Fawkes Day. Pretty soon, Christmas in July won't just be some sort of bizarre expression - it will mean the actual commencement of the Christmas season, complete with candy displays, special CDs from third-rate singers, and irritatingly bad Ben Affleck movies.

And back to the subject of Guy Fawkes Day for a second. I read something in a London paper that says that the British government is looking to get rid of the celebration which dates back to 1605, when Guy Fawkes was one of 13 conspirators trying to blow up the Houses of Parliament in protest of the increasing severity of laws against English Catholics. Basically, there are bonfires and treats and burning little Guy Fawkes effigies - good stuff. The government is seeking to get rid of the holiday because of the recent rise in Britons celebrating the American holiday of Halloween, which they believe has led to a decline in celebrating Guy Fawkes Day on November 5. Now, I'm not anti-American or anything. But when our holidays are being blamed in part for holidays in other countries going the way of the dodo, that's a problem.

That being said, I'm going to keep watching some good old-fashioned American television and read about the wonders of the American judicial system.


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