Wednesday, May 14, 2008

stirring up trouble until the very end

So, in just about every open-book exam I've taken in law school, I've taken along my iPod...mostly because no professor has ever explicitly said, "You can't use that."   So I happily bring along my iPod so that I can rock out to Appetite for Destruction during the exam.  (Seriously.)

So I go to take my Contracts II final, and I'm starting up the iPod while the proctor is reading the instructions.  All of a sudden, I hear, "iPods are not allowed."  So I look up and start packing up the iPod, and the proctor is giving me the death stare, as if I had just kicked a puppy or something.  She looks at me and tells me that iPods are not 'secure', and therefore they can't be used.  I, being a 3L who is hours from being done with that hole forever, reply that, since the exam is open-book anyway, it's not like the iPod is giving me information that I couldn't have typed up and brought in anyway.  Proctor just rolls her eyes and tells me that those are the rules, and too bad.

At that point, the professor comes up to the professor and tells her that it's okay if I use my iPod, since it involves headphones and all.   The proctor tells her that iPods are not secure, and therefore not allowed, and the professor says that she doesn't care if we use them.  (So, I completely take back that part about hating her for her passive-aggressive stance on nametags...) 

I start unwinding the earphones when some douchenozzle in the row behind me loudly declares that sometimes the music doesn't stay in the headphones, and it's too distracting to other people if I listen to my headphones.  At that point, I mouth the word "douchebag" to my friend across the room, who is chuckling at this whole exchange.  The professor simply tells Douchenozzle that she would deal with the noise problem if anyone played their music too loud.

After that, I put my headphones in, turned the music on, and started rocking out as I read through the problem.  

(And oddly enough, that was the first essay exam I had finished early in over a year.  And I'm fairly certain that I didn't fail, so...looks like I'll be graduating on Friday after all.)

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Monday, May 05, 2008

and the award for "best use of a pass/fail" goes to...

I just referenced both the Village People and strippers in an exam.

I'm fairly certain that this is an unparalleled level of awesomeness.......I suppose it's good to leave law school on a high note. 


Monday, April 28, 2008

apocalypse (s)now

It is snowing in Madison today.  

For those of you who didn't do a double-take and then check the calendar on your computers, today is April 28th.  Otherwise known as three-days-before-the-start-of-May.  So not only is it spring, it's venturing into "late spring" territory.

And yet, there were snowflakes falling from the sky this afternoon.

I'm pretty sure that this is a sign that the world is ending...especially when combined with the fact that the Cubs are in first place right now and Ronny Cedeno is actually playing well. I mean, who needs locusts, plagues, or an invasion of Daleks when you can have ginormous snowflakes?  

I'm also pretty sure that I'm glad that, three weeks from right now, I'll be sitting in the U-Haul on the way to Wichita, the stopping point in my journey between Madison and Austin.   Even though I spent much of last night having a complete breakdown about the fact that I will probably never be able to procure legal employment after graduation because of my inability to perform on law school exams, at least I won't be some place where it snows in April.  

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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

we're not lovers, we're lawyers

Today, some group in the law school planned to have a sex toy party at the school. Since just about every event that has been planned at the Law School this year has been cancelled or forced to move, they sought the administration's permission to host the free event in the law school building. The administration, seeing no problem with it, agreed to this.
So advertisements go up throughout the school. The pizza gets ordered. Students make plans to show up.
And then? Dean Dickey, one of our wonderful administrators, puts the kibosh on the whole event. My spies tell me that the explanation given had something to do with "not liking the advertisements" for the event. (I mean, it's a sex toy could you not expect advertisements featuring pictures of handcuffs and ridiculous puns???) So, reading between the lines, someone got offended by the ads, and nobody felt the need to tell the group organizing the event until immediately before the event started and they had already wasted money on pizza. (My guess is that Dickey has a serious love for that garlic butter sauce crap that comes with Papa John's pizza, and that's why he waited so long...)
This afternoon, the guy who sits behind me in First Amendment (who I'm pretty sure swills sherry and screws goats for fun*) remarked that he was proud of Dean Dickey for taking a stand, and wanted to e-mail him and tell him as much. Now, I wasn't going to go to this event, and I think it's better suited for some off-campus location...but I'm not going to stop someone else from going just because the picture of a ball-gag and whip makes me a little uncomfortable, you know?
I guess the lesson to take away from all of this is this: if you don't like someone else's viewpoint, you don't need to respect the fact that we're all entitled to our opinions. Just complain to someone with power and get them to shut up.

*I don't know if he actually screws goats for fun. I also don't know if his sense of morality allows him to swill any sort of alcohol. I do know that this guy kind of oozes douche from every pore. You know the type. You're picturing him right now.

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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

the lunch nazi

So one of my friends and I were sitting in the atrium at school from about 11-1 earlier today.  She remarked that, she brought lunch, but wasn't hungry.  So she decided to heat up her lunch at about 1:15 and take it to class with her.

As a much more considerate person that I could ever be, she asked her fellow students if eating her hot tasty lunch in class would be a problem.  Since she's not the person whose food smells like burnt hair whenever it's put in the microwave, they all agreed. 

The professor comes in, though, and tells her that she is not allowed to eat in class.  The reason?

It's against law school rules to eat in class.

Now, you would think that, after two years, one semester, and 13 weeks of law school, we would know if eating in class was against law school rules.  After my friend told me this, I went so far as to peruse the law school rules posted on the law school's website.  And wouldn't you know, there's absolutely NOTHING about the consumption of food in class being verboten.

I understand that it's the professor's prerogative whether to govern what is or is not allowed in his classroom.  I just have a really big problem with the professor not having the cajones to tell students not to do something in his class, and instead resorting to flat-out lying by saying that the law school rules prohibit something that they clearly do not address (or, if they do, then it's not posted in a place where students can easily access them).   

In any event, classes are over next week...and then we can eat wherever we darn well please.


Wednesday, April 16, 2008

dangerous mind's day off

To celebrate one of the first nice days of spring (and the fact that Family Law class was cancelled), I skipped town (and Contracts II) yesterday and drove down to Chicago.   So I strolled through the Art Institute for a few hours, enjoyed a walk down the Magnificent Mile, and capped off my day with a night game at Wrigley:

The Cubs won in magnificent fashion (thanks to the wind blowing out to left...and no thanks to Alfonso Soriano hurting himself while performing his "trademark hop" while catching a fly ball....).   So magnificent that the fact that I had to beg several people for a jump in the parking lot after the game because Flying Elvis's battery was dead doesn't put a damper on the evening.

I have to say, I think the thing I'll miss the most about living in Madison is being close enough to be able to take an afternoon and drive to Chicago for a Cubs game or an outing at a museum.  You could say that this is a sign that I should be living in Chicago, not Austin...but I think we all know that I can't afford to live in Chicago without a job and while trying to pay back $170,000 in loans.  


Monday, April 14, 2008

naked pictures of supreme court justices

I was leaving First Amendment today, blissfully confused by everything that had been said during the previous hour and a half, when I overheard the following in the stairwell:

"You know Supreme Court Justice Blackmun?  Yeah, I had a dream that I was totally hanging out with him..."

I'm fairly certain that this is one of the reasons why people hate lawyers.  I mean, whatever happened to having normal dreams involving David Boreanaz* and vampire fangs?

Okay, maybe those dreams aren't exactly normal either, but...when your dreams start involving members of the United States Supreme Court....that's a whole new level of gunner-dom, I think.  Or maybe just a sign that you need to get out more.  

*You're all watching the new episode of "Bones" tonight (Fox, 8/7 central), right?   Good.

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