naked pictures of supreme court justices
I was leaving First Amendment today, blissfully confused by everything that had been said during the previous hour and a half, when I overheard the following in the stairwell:
"You know Supreme Court Justice Blackmun? Yeah, I had a dream that I was totally hanging out with him..."
I'm fairly certain that this is one of the reasons why people hate lawyers. I mean, whatever happened to having normal dreams involving David Boreanaz* and vampire fangs?
Okay, maybe those dreams aren't exactly normal either, but...when your dreams start involving members of the United States Supreme Court....that's a whole new level of gunner-dom, I think. Or maybe just a sign that you need to get out more.
*You're all watching the new episode of "Bones" tonight (Fox, 8/7 central), right? Good.
Labels: law school douchebags, t.v.
if only i knew how to take an exam
Yeah, so all that flipping out about Contracts the other day was for nothing. I got my response e-mail from the professor, who said that it was clear that I understand what's going on in class.
That is the first time the word "understand" has been used to refer to me and my performance in a law school class in almost three years. So...I guess better late than never, right?
So between that and the return of Office Thursday tonight (!!!!!!), it's been a pretty good week...
Labels: contracts, t.v.
flavor of disease
So I was watching Flavor of Love 3 earlier today...
A couple of the girls went to Flav because they were concerned about this spot on this one cast member's (Hotlanta, I believe) mouth. So Hotlanta goes to Flav to explain that she does not have herpes. Flav, because he's so grossed out by the idea of any of his hos having the herps, decides to call in his doctor friend to do a test on the spot.
After the testing is performed, the doctor sends the results directly to Flav, who reads them aloud at that night's clock (elimination) ceremony. Poor Hotlanta only had a pimple, everyone got freaked out over nothing, and she got her clock and was allowed to stay in the house another week because she didn't have the herps.*
Of course, the first thing that came to my mind was, "I'm pretty sure that giving the results directly to Flav violates HIPAA in some way."
That should not be the first thought I have to anything that goes on on FoL3. I should be wondering why Flav is so grossed out by the herps when it's probable that there's airborne gonorrhea in that house. Or I should be wondering how Flav himself doesn't happen to have a case of herpes. No, instead I'm sitting here wondering if these skanks signed some sort of release form allowing Flav to have access to all of their medical records (or allowing any test results to be read on-air), or signed some sort of affidavit saying that they don't have any STDs.
It's times like these I really hate what law school has done to my brain. At this point, the only show that doesn't make me think of something school related is Maury Povich - even though those paternity test and fat baby episodes come awfully close to the family law line. But I can't help watching Maury, because those episodes where he plays chick-or-dude are the best.
*I was actually rooting for Hotlanta to tell Flav that no, she did not know what time it was, and would not accept her clock, simply because he didn't trust her when she said she didn't have herpes. Then again, doing that would mean that her fifteen minutes of "fame" were over.
Labels: t.v.
honesty is the best policy, even in class
A paraphrase of something that actually happened in class this morning:
Professor: [Dangerous Mind], do you want to play the defense attorney for this?
Me: No.
Professor: Well, too bad.
...a few minutes later...
Professor: So, [DM], do you really not want to be the defense attorney?
Me: No. I have no idea what's going on in here.
Professor: And why not?
Me: Because I haven't been in class for a week and a half.
It's not my fault that I couldn't get decent flights for Thanksgiving that allowed me to actually come to class last Wednesday and this past Monday. I swear. Besides, I'm less cranky when I'm in the warm weather and thawed out and basically not sitting in my crappy apartment in Madison.*
Meanwhile, I have a paper due in that class tomorrow (basically), I haven't read a thing, and I'm fairly certain that I missed some really important things while not being in class. So, that's going to be some serious fun tonight....and all I really want to do is lay down and watch last night's "Bones" again.**
*Let's talk about apartments for a second. My sister's apartment in Mesa, AZ has a bathroom that is larger than my KITCHEN. And she pays a couple hundred dollars less per month than I do. HOW IS THIS FAIR?!?!?!?! (Quick answer: it's not fair.)
**Let's be honest. I'm going to do that anyway. It's my second favorite show, and last night's episode was rather enjoyable. I'm not going to lie; if I was forced to kiss David Boreanaz for five steamboats, I'd consider that a good day.
Labels: classes, t.v.
i hope this question isn't on the texas bar exam
I'm watching this week's "South Park" for the second time now, and there's one thing I just can't get past.
Cartman and Kyle had this contract. If they did not see a leprechaun, Cartman owed Kyle $10. If they did see a leprechaun, Kyle had to suck Cartman's balls.
How is this a legally enforceable contract? I mean, aside from the whole "they're minors" thing (and the whole "this is a cartoon" thing)...
(Now I wish I had actually listened in Contracts class.)
(Also, I should stop thinking when I watch TV. It's so much more enjoyable when it's mindless. That's why "CSI: Miami" is so awesome.)
Labels: contracts, david caruso, t.v.
this (and ann coulter) are why I don't watch the news.
I was watching something about school shootings other night on Anderson Cooper, but never wrote about it. Since it's Saturday night, and I'm sitting at home watching last night's "Men in Trees" that I TiVoed*, I think it's about time to write about it.
So Anderson was interviewing a former school shooter about what was going on when he did it. He said that, you know, everything he learned about death came from video games, and that when you die in [whatever video game he was talking about], you don't die, but come back to life and keep going. So he figured that, he'd just shoot people and they'd be fine because that's what happens in video games.
Seriously.
It took me a good five minutes to pick my jaw up off of the floor after hearing that. The kid looked about eighteen, so I figure he was at LEAST 12-13 when he shot up whatever school he was at. What 12- or 13-year-old doesn't know what death is? Who hasn't read a book where someone died, or learned in a class about some important historical figure being killed? Or have we as a society become so afraid of upsetting a child's perfect little world that we don't want to teach them the harsh reality of life; namely, that we're all going to end up as rotting corpses at one point or another?
I'm sure that we're just going to blame video games for this; video games make shooting people look so cool, and nothing bad ever happens, so of COURSE kids are going to think that life is exactly like a video game.** In reality, though, it seems like the problem would be the adults who refuse to sit down and talk to their children about important things like death and the difference between fiction and reality. But why would we want to blame ourselves when we can shift blame to someone else?
And then I got to thinking (before I changed the channel to something that didn't infuriate me nearly as much)...what if that's what this kid's lawyer told him to say? I mean, what better way to get out of a homicide charge then say that you didn't know any better and point to the evil video games that the average suburbanite (read: your jurors) likely think is too violent anyway and want to see taken down? Yeah, I know it's a long-shot, and sounds more like the plot of an upcoming "Boston Legal" episode, but... I guess if it looks like an idiot and speaks like an idiot, it's too much of an idiot to understand the consequences of it's actions.
*I am almost embarrassed to admit it, but I really enjoy "Men in Trees"...and not just because James Tupper is hot. It's a really funny, cute show - so much so that it almost makes me forget about the fact that it stars Anne Heche, and she's insane.
**Kind of like that episode of "Futurama" where Fry wishes life were more like a video game, except with fewer opportunities to smell Donkey Kong's loincloth.
Labels: t.v., video games
the best show on television
Is anyone out there watching "I Love New York 2" on VH1?
Because if you're not, you should be. It's hilarious.
Meanwhile, this season, Sister Patterson (New York's mother) brought on a few upstanding (read: rich) gentlemen to tempt her daughter. Two of these men are lawyers.
Now...if you were hiring a lawyer, and you get to your first conference with your potential attorney, then realize that you saw him on TV fighting for the love of a woman who was involved - twice - with Flavor Flav...wouldn't your first instinct be to turn around and walk right back out the door? Any man that thinks that New York is a quality woman has serious problems, and I don't think that I'd want an attorney whose judgment I can't trust. And then I'd laugh at him, because New York is foul.
There's also a midget on this season. That should be enough reason to tune in.
Labels: hilarity, t.v.
