Monday, October 30, 2006

friendly advice

When you walk into your boring lecture-only class, and the professor starts telling everyone to move into the first three rows of the hall, take that as a sign that you were meant to skip that day in class. Seriously, turn around and leave. Otherwise, you're going to be asked to participate, instead of sitting in the back row reclining and reading's Page 2 in peace.

When you're settling into your favorite spot in the library to watch episodes of "The Office" that you've TiVoed read between classes , make sure you have your headphones plugged into the right place on your laptop. You don't want to anger people who are sitting there studying by distracting them with the day that Jim put Andy's calculator in Jell-O and Andy got so mad that he kicked a trash can.

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

it may be time to rethink my relationship with Starbucks

The story starts about six months ago, on my road trip east. At some point on I-80 in northern Pennsylvania, I noticed a deep ridge in one of my molars. I didn't think anything of it, though, because it didn't hurt.

Sunday, as I'm enjoying some granola for breakfast, I chomp down on what seems to be a walnut shell. Again, I didn' t think anything of it until Sunday night, the aforementioned ridged molar starts to hurt.

This morning, I go to the dentist and discover that the "deep ridge" in my molar is actually a fracture.

This afternoon, I get my cup of coffee to enjoy during my one class o'the day. And it hurts - bad. Real bad. As in, I almost started crying in Con Law because the coffee hurt my tooth so badly.

The worst part of all this is that I just got $45 worth of Starbucks gift cards for my birthday last week. So I either spend all of that on delicious M&M cookies (because I'm guessing the cold Frappuccino won't be much better on the tooth), or I wait until the whole tooth ordeal is over (read: I get either a filling or a root canal).

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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

wait 'til next year

It's the best time of year for a Cubs fan - the time where we start telling ourselves that it can't get any worse than it was this past season.

And, in a move that makes me want to cry, the Cubs go out and sign manager Lou Piniella to a three-year contract. (My guess is that Joe Girardi, my personal choice for the position, has too much of a brain and not enough flash for the Cubs.)

Now, ESPN and are overloaded with spec about whether the Cubs will try to trade for Alex Rodriguez, who played under Piniella in Seattle for several seasons. What will happen next?

(a) Cubs trade Kerry Wood and Mark Prior to the Yankees for Rodriguez - because Carl Pavano needs company while he spends the season on the DL.

(b) Cubs get A-Rod to play shortstop, and the Cubs miraculously end up winning the World Series within the next three years.

(c) Cubs don't get A-Rod, and continue to suck until the world ends in 2012.

(d) Cubs get A-Rod, make it to the World Series, and lose in Game 7 after an A-Rod error - proving once and for all that (a) A-Rod is a bigger choker in big-game situations than Peyton Manning and Scott Norwood combined, and (b) God enjoys messing with Cubs fans. A lot.

(e) Cubs don't get A-Rod, make it to the World Series, and lose after both Prior and Wood spontaneously combust before Game 1, forcing Ryan Dempster into the starting rotation.

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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

but at least i go to class...

If a professor is writing so much on the board that his handwriting is too small to see if you're sitting more than 5 feet away (i.e., if you're not the professor), then isn't it time to waste a tree branch and print 25 handouts?

I don't know about the rest of the people in my class, but I spent the bulk of my formative years playing Mario 3, and I can't see anything that's more than 3 feet away (and that doesn't involve a power-up of some sort). This is the sort of thing that makes me say "Well, if I can't read it, it must not be important."...and then go back to my strenuous routine of e-mail and Solitaire.

And since I've mentioned Mario 3, I'd like to add that this is the most awesome wedding cake I've ever seen:

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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

a&e's doing a biography on the other guy from wham!

The Sunday Mirror is reporting that Andrew Ridgeley and George Michael are reuniting once more. They will be performing a Wham! reunion concert twenty years after their final show at Wembley Stadium.

I realize that I'm already going to Disney World for Christmas, but I sort of wish that I could squeeze in a trip to London for a little "Careless Whisper". And who could forget the wonder that is "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"? (It's too bad that George and Andrew are likely too old for the neon short-shorts and blacklight makeup they wore in the video with their "Choose Life" t-shirts...)


Wednesday, October 04, 2006

does this mean i get to be on "heroes" now?

I discovered this morning that I have ESP. (No, I'm not confusing ESP with ESPN. I have ESPN. And ESPN2. And ESPN Classic. And ESPNNews. And now, I have ESP.)

I decided around 9:20, after hitting the snooze button on my alarm about 5 times, that I was going to skip my 9:55 Bus Orgs class and stay in bed - because 7 hours of sleep is not enough to make me wake up and not be nauseous.

So I woke up again around 11:15. I stumbled into the living room a few minutes later to check e-mail. At that point, I discovered that the 9:55 class that I thought I skipped was actually cancelled. If I had actually gotten up and gone to class, I was running so late that I wouldn't have checked e-mail (and thus discovered class was cancelled) until I got to school at 9:45...and would've had almost 5 hours to kill before my next class.

Needless to say, the fact that I subconsciously knew that I wouldn't have class makes me feel like one of life's winners today.


Tuesday, October 03, 2006

separated at birth?

You decide...

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and it doesn't have a snooze button either

My neighbors are putting new siding on their house. Which means that every morning, around 9:00, I wake up to the sound of power drills and hammers instead of the incessant beeping of my alarm clock. Obviously, I can't throw my neighbors' construction workers across the room to get them to shut up and let me sleep in peace. So it takes me a while to drown the sound out enough so that I can get back to my regularly scheduled nightmare.

Why couldn't they have started this project, I don't know, during the summer, when I had to wake up early 4 days a week? This is just torture, because I only have to wake up before 11 twice a week. Their noise pollution is infringing on my constitutional right to privacy - and by privacy, I mean "10 hours of peaceful, uninterrupted visits to Sleepy Land".

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