Wednesday, January 24, 2007

the rocky defense

Man, Evidence class sure gets punchy around 5:15...

Professor: The defense attorney asks the witness if he was in line for Rocky IV rather than Rocky III. The prosecutor objects. Is this relevant?

D.: It is relevant...if the witness can't tell the difference between Dolph Lundgren and Mr. T, then how can he identify the shooter?

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Monday, January 22, 2007


If you open up the fortune cookie that comes with your Chinese food, and several of the words are misspelled, does that void the fortune? Or does that just mean that the fortune cookie company needs to find a new editor?


Friday, January 19, 2007

aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves here?

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last week, you'll know that the Chicago Bears are playing the New Orleans Saints in the NFC Championship this Sunday. Chances are, if you've flipped through the sports pages or watched ESPN during that time frame, you'll also know that New Orleans has never had a team go this far in the playoffs. (And unless you were cryogenically frozen since about August 2005 and were just unfrozen yesterday, you also know that the Saints had to play elsewhere last season because of Katrina, that New Orleans was pretty much destroyed, etc. etc. etc.)

So some lawyers down in New Orleans have a trial set for Monday. And they're thinking that, not only is Rex Grossman going to play like Rex Grossman and cause the Saints to win, but that the parties in New Orleans will last well into Tuesday. In order to have a full jury pool, they've requested that the trial date be moved to Wednesday. (Of course, if you read between the lines, it pretty much says that the defendants and defense counsel will be too blitzed after the Sunday afternoon game to show up in court Monday morning.

I mean, it's nice that they're being optimistic about the Saints' chances here (which, let's face it, are good, on account of Rexy and all). I personally enjoy how their priority here is football, not being a lawyer 24-7-365. My kind of lawyers.

I wonder if they're hiring.

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Friday, January 05, 2007


First there was "Se7en", the alternate title for the (spoiler alert) Gwyneth's-head-in-a-box thriller from, like, 1997. Then came "Numb3rs" on CBS. And now, the other day, I saw a commercial for the new movie "Thr3e". I don't know what it's about - I only remember the trailer because there was a number in the title. Does the "stop and think about it" factor mean that I should start replacing any letters in my post that look like numbers w1th th3 c0rr35p0nd1ng num83r5.

Oooh yeah. No. Believe me, it hurt to type that as much as it now hurts to go back and read it - mostly because the last time I thought this sort of thing was clever, I think I was in 4th (maybe 5th) grade, and I discovered that typing 5318008 on a calculator spells "boobies" when you turn the calculator upside down.

I'd like to know who decided that this was a good marketing strategy. Granted, it does make me think about the movie more, but not in a "wow, that looks like the next 'Gone with the Wind'" sort of way. It's more of a "is the movie that bad that they need to resort to that level?" Especially in the case of that show "Numbers" - yeah, it really is that bad. (Then again, they can't all rise to the caliber of "CSI: Miami".)


Wednesday, January 03, 2007

begone vile thoughts

You know how Sunday nights are often ruined by the consistent mental reminders that you have to get up and go to work/class the next morning?

Yeah. That's how I feel right about now...except that "Sunday nights" is actually "my vacation", and "the next morning" translates to "in two and a half weeks". When I got an e-mail last night about some student org planning for next semester, I almost cried.

Whatever. Back to watching Andrew Shue's complete failure to exercise his acting chops on "Melrose" reruns.