Monday, December 26, 2005

don't mess with irony...errrr, texas...

Why is it that I get sick every Christmas morning? It's thirty to forty degrees warmer here than the average temperatures in Madison have been for the last month and a half. So why did I develop a nasty cold less than 36 hours after arriving in Texas?

(This is the part where all of my friends in WI/MN this holiday season point and laugh at me and say something quippy about karma.)

Even with the annual cold, it hasn't been all bad. Here are the top five (actually five) things that one should not be saying/thinking during Christmas Eve church services (these all actually occurred this year):

5. (nudges sister and points to dad's foot, where he's taken his shoe off and is scratching the foot on which he's wearing a sock with a giant hole)
4. "Umm, Linus says 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace, good will towards men.' What they just said doesn't even come close to that. I'm boycotting this church and their use of the 'new, more understandable' Bible." (me, to my family in the car after the service)
3. "Dude, I'm gonna light this program on fire." (me, to my sister during "Silent Night") (I then pantomime lighting a lighter and waving it in the air after they dimmed the lights during "Silent Night")
2. "Why is that chick not wearing shoes?" (me, to my sister regarding the teenager walking around barefoot, presumably to go to the bathroom in the middle of the service. I don't care if you're Britney Spears, and I don't care if this isn't a gas station - keep your shoes on your feet. Thanks.)
1. "I didn't really enjoy the part where we got tag-teamed by the ministers." (me, to my family after church, regarding the joint sermon given by the church's pastor and associate pastor...the funny part was when the associate missed his cue.)


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