Monday, February 06, 2006

the honorable gentlewoman from richmond has the floor

For your consideration...
Senate Bill #9999 - Elimination of Mondays from the Calendar.

As many before me have complained, Mondays suck hardcore. I would like to propose an amendment to the Code whereby all instances of "Monday" would be eliminated from the calendar. Work weeks would be Tuesday through Friday, with Saturday, Sunday, and the Day to be Named Later to be days of rest and relaxation.

The Day to be Named Later cannot be named Monday. Rather, since it is probably being included as part of a larger package with premiere names, consideration shall first be given to minor league Day names (e.g., "Tacky Tie Day", or "Hawaiian Shirt Day"). In order to make up for the elimination of Mondays from the calendar, CSI: Miami shall be moved to Wednesday nights.

The removal of Mondays from the calendar shall thereby eliminate all days on which one trips on State Street carrying an armload of binders and a cup of coffee. This shall also remove from the calendar those days on which you have to choose between the proverbial Rock and Hard Place that are your options for summer vacation. This will also eliminate those days on which I attend Research class from the week, thereby returning to me that hour of my life that I thought was lost forever.

Thank you.

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