Wednesday, November 08, 2006

yes, virginia, there is a hanging chad

As of 5:00 today, Senate hopeful Jim Webb holds a 7,215 vote margin over Virginia incumbent George Allen (a.k.a., the Giant Racist Douchebag). The only precincts that haven't finished reporting are in Isle of Wight county, which I *believe* is a fairly rural area outside of Newport News and Hampton.

I'm sure we've all heard by now that Virginia law allows a state-funded recount when the margin of victory is less than half a percent - in this case, fewer than 11,817 votes. Since Senator G.R. Douchebag is likely to pick up a few more votes in Isle of Wight, I think it's safe to say that a recount is looming.

That takes me back to the last time I voted in Virginia - I lived in Henrico County, just outside of Richmond, which is split about 50-50 Republican-Democrat (lots of poor folk and immigrants mixed with lots of rich bastards, essentially). There, instead of drawing lines to connect arrows or pressing buttons on a computer screen, we had a mechanism that allowed us to flip through a book-like ballot and select the candidate of our choice from the list using a special tool that allowed us to punch out a perforated circle next to the candidate's name.

That's right. Punch card ballots.

I haven't talked to anyone who actually voted in Virginia this year, so I don't know if they've actually spent taxpayer money on new voting equipment. Probably not, though, since the state's biggest priority in past years seems to be passing bills to add "Dead Confederate Soldier Day" to the calendar, or whatever they were calling it. (I wish I were kidding.)

I remember that, in '04, I actually checked for hanging chads (as if it mattered, since Virginia was pretty firmly stuck up Bush's sphincter at the time). But I have to wonder if anyone else is as crazy and conspiracy theory-obsessed as I am to have checked their own ballots this year...and if something that silly will make the difference in yet another election.

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Thursday, November 02, 2006

i may not be the brightest bulb in the box,

But I at least figured out where John Kerry was going with that comment without needing CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, the New York Post, and The View* argue over whether or not it was a bungled joke.

I just wish I didn't have this sinking feeling that this was going to cost a lot of Dems their elections next week...



*Yes, I watch "The View". I pretty much hate myself for enjoying it. But it's not my fault that there isn't anything else to watch when I'm getting ready for class.

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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

one of life's most important questions

After reading this morning that our esteemed President refuses to rule out the option of nuking Iran to get at their atomic weapons arsenal, I began to wonder exactly what the ramifications of such a (poor) policy choice would be.

Assuming we bomb them in the next few months, what would be more likely to happen by Labor Day?

(a) The Cubs in first place in the NL Central
(b) Complete and total nuclear holocaust
(c) Both (a) and (b) - because it's all a part of the Curse

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